Episode #504
504: How to Build Sturdier Self-Worth as an Adult // Dr. Marisa G. Franco
The first time my therapist asked me to picture "little Rachel" on the playground, glasses and all, and offer her the comfort she needed, I thought it sounded so woo-woo. I went along with it, but I was skeptical that imagining my younger self could change anything about how I feel today. What I didn't know then is that there's real science behind exercises like that one. Our sense of worth is built on our memories, and researchers are finding that when we revisit those memories in the right way, we can actually change how they're stored in the brain.This week's guest is Dr. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She explains that even though low self-esteem can feel permanent, the truth is much more hopeful: self-worth is a skill, and there are simple, research-backed practices that can help you build it at any age. In this episode, you'll learn: Why love and success can actually feel threatening when your self-esteem is low (hint: they don't fit the story you've been telling yourself about who you are) The ordinary childhood memory (involving soccer practice pickup) that shaped how Marisa felt every time someone ran late, and what shifted once she revisited it as her adult self What Tetris has to do with softening painful memoriesIf you've spent years assuming that the way you feel about yourself is just who you are, I hope this conversation shows you that it can change, one memory and one moment of self-kindness at a time. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Related Episodes: 433: Making Friends as a Mom: Why It's Hard—and How to Do It Anyway // Dr. Marisa G. Franco 386: Raising Securely Attached Kids // Eli Harwood 245: You're Exactly Where You Need to Be // Alison Faulkner Episode Sponsors: Tushy: For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you go to hellotushy.com and use code 3in30 at checkout. Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***
