Nightly News Roundup

El-Sayed's Senate primary win drags out 2001-era Islamophobia while gas and grocery prices stay untouched. Trump claims a ballroom ruling threatens lives while secretly building a bunker underneath. July's jobs report...

Trump pardons a $205 million Medicare fraudster while blaming immigrants for the crime, then guts the 14th Amendment on his way out the door. Gaza's peace plan turns out to be a bunker with a getaway route. The FCC...

Oil giants bank $93 billion while the planet burns, and Trump's spies stack up in Cuba like an invasion in slow motion. A judge unconvicts an Oath Keeper while mourning democracy in the same breath. RFK Jr. torches his...

Capital One blames a money laundering review for dumping Trump's accounts, two months after eating a fine for having no laundering program at all. Jeanine Pirro drops charges against an innocent Olympian and gets called...

Cooper plans two more weeks of war, Trump threatens to withdraw his own AG pick out of spite, and the State Department can't locate Africa on a map it made itself. Kash Patel loses to a guy who called him a chud, four...

Thune threatens Christmas in session, Trump campaigns for himself in Michigan, and a food festival becomes shooting 271. Hegseth watches generals fall like it's Westeros, Trump asks the Supreme Court to shrink the...

Four dead soldiers vanish from the Pentagon's spreadsheet, then reappear once reporters ask questions. Iran hits back after twelve nights of strikes, the EU fines Google and gets tariff threats for it, and a court...

Trump says Iran hasn't suffered enough on night twelve of bombing, while a Florida prophet insists God opened a wifi portal over Mar-a-Lago instead. Musk admits he got "carried away" gutting foreign aid, a judge calls...

Trump sues the BBC and a judge hands him a subpoena boomerang, cracking open 400 companies and one very nervous blind trust. Hegseth warns Congress about Middle Eastern nukes on Tuesday, then Wednesday hands Saudi...

Iran calls America ISIS while trading airstrikes for the ninth straight day, and the Houthis pile on with a Red Sea blockade for good measure. Taylor Farms lettuce gives thousands of Americans explosive diarrhea, then...

A president delivers a Gettysburg Address for people who failed history, complete with an election that's rigged, secure, and rigged again depending on who's counting. A 278,000-voter fraud claim gets pulled from...

A press secretary returns from leave to defend a nursery and a crime scene in the same breath. An island gets bombed for the sixth straight night while a rental-car economy idles at the pump. An attorney general nominee...

An attorney general nominee turned six million pages into a percentage point and called it a win. A Pentagon overhaul finds its real target: middle-aged testosterone. A president joins the inflation hall of shame two...

A president who called himself a non-payer finally paid up. His former lawyer runs the DOJ like an enemies list with a seating chart. A senator's sister inherited a seat and a decade of grudges by Tuesday morning. The...

We're baaaacccckkkkk A federal agent killed a man in Biddeford while his daughter watched in Bluey pajamas. Trump blockaded a strait he called open and sent Iran the bill anyway. Thursday brings a mystery speech nobody...