Master Your Marriage

Last week we talked about anxiety as a response to a real or imagined threat. How we make our partner the threat. How reactivity is the anxiety. This week is the question underneath that: why does their disagreement...

If you don’t think you have anxiety, this episode is probably for you. A lot of us hear “anxiety” and picture someone who worries all day and imagines every disaster. That is not how it usually shows up in marriage. In...

One of the smallest words in English can quietly change the emotional climate of a marriage. In this episode, we talk about the difference between “but” and “and.” “But” often cancels whatever came before it. “And” lets...

We just spent two episodes looking at contempt—the number one predictor of divorce. One of the clearest takeaways is this: empathy and contempt cannot live in the same room. When contempt is operating, we elevate...

Last week we named the problem: contempt is addictive, corrosive, and the #1 predictor of divorce. This week we take up the harder question—how do we actually walk away from it? We open with an honest look at whether...

In this episode, we unpack one of the most destructive forces in modern relationships: contempt. Drawing from Arthur Brooks’ book Love Your Enemies , we explore why contempt is not just a communication problem—but an...

We’ve all heard (or said) those loaded words: “We need to talk.” For most of us, they immediately trigger defensiveness and dread. But what happens when conversations stop altogether? In this replay episode, we explore...

Most of us get defensive without even realizing it — and it’s one of the fastest ways connection breaks down in marriage. In this episode, we explore why defensiveness is actually a self-esteem issue at its core. We...

In this quick mid-week bonus episode, Sharla answers two listener questions from our current series on Real Self Esteem and the distortions of shame and grandiosity. We explore: Why you can feel confident and know your...

This is part two of our shame series. Be sure to listen to last week's episode for an introduction into shame and how it relates to self-esteem. In this episode, we go deeper into the real reason shame and grandiosity...

Most of us are walking around with a relationship to ourselves that is pretty dysfunctional — and we don’t even realize it. We bounce back and forth between shame and grandiosity, sometimes minute by minute, and this...

Many people do deep, sincere work in therapy and gain real insight into their patterns — yet they still find themselves repeating the same painful cycles in their relationships. In this episode, we explore why insight...

What if the secret to a thriving marriage isn’t avoiding conflict… but learning to lean into it? In this episode, Sharla and Robert explore NBA superstar Stephen Curry’s powerful marriage advice from his recent...

BONUS EPISODE - FORGIVENESS MEDITATION TOOL! This guided Ho’oponopono meditation is a powerful companion to Episode 162: “When Is It Okay Not to Forgive? (And When It’s Not)” — and is especially helpful for married...

In this powerful episode of Master Your Marriage , Sharla and Robert Snow explore one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships: forgiveness . They revisit the subject with fresh insights, addressing common...