Worthless Clowns

For her birthday Brittany’s ex gets her a rage room and a cameo from favorite New Zealand rapper. Ali’s late to all her appointments because she can’t stop looking at her fish tank, and teaches her therapist to...

Brittany is depressed and embarrassed that she is unable to order a spicy meal. Ali’s experiencing delusions of her dog chewing her paw. We decide to make taxidermy rat versions of ourselves. A listener’s boyfriend has...

We hype up pre-show by beating our chests, power posing, and self affirming. Brittany struggles to understand the pain scale and telling two famous old men apart. Ali gets high for her IUD insertion and is scared of who...

A man confronts Brittany about her big huge hotdog eyes. Ali chokes up around a band she just got into, and keeps waking up to a country song about boobs. A listener accidentally breaks into her boss’s house and makes a...

It’s Ali’s one year anniversary of getting hit by a car! And she’s ready to get hit again! Brittany finally realizes what water and addresses are for. A listener too desperate to prove she can pee ends up looking very...

We go to Chicago! Ali’s shrimp knowledge is on full display at the aquarium, and a crab is doing Brittany’s physical therapy exercises. A listener plays metaphorical poker with an itchy man on the bus. Memories of 9/11...

It’s Valentines Day (we posted this very very late!). Brittany strips to Chop Suey and makes a fool of herself during an invasive ultrasound. Ali goes absolutely nuts with her food processor and accidentally offends her...

We’re back from a long hiatus!!! A lot has happened in the world of Ali’s fish tank. We determine the hottest lions of Lion King, and prep for our photoshoot by doing crafts and watching Adventure Time. A listener...

<p>We've missed you all!!! We've got pod updates for you! </p><p>PLUS: Brittany's special is out this Tuesday October 21st 8pm (EST) on her YouTube! Watch it, share it, comment with clown emojis, tell your friends! And...

<p>Ali unloads on an unsuspecting man about Tony Hawk Pro Skater, CYK, and Bam Margera. Brittany gets kidnapped at a Vegas bachelorette party by a Seinfeld enthusiast. A man tries to convince a woman he’s “normal” by...

<p>Ali befriends a fellow fish tank owner, and roasts Ed Sheeran and Harvard, bigtime. Brittany keeps mistaking Jenna Ortega for her nephew, and holds a stingray by the lips. Laura Loomer gets PUNK’D. Memories of...

<p>Our very good friend Kelly Taylor joins us!! Kelly blacks out, then wakes up outside her situationship’s house. Ali’s having trouble laughing with a pulled rib muscle, and Brittany’s bathroom ceiling collapses...

<p>Brittany gets falsely accused of cheating on a math test based entirely on her poorly written 4s. Ali is introduced to an acquaintance and immediately bullies him into submission. A man obsessed with the psychology...

<p>Ali delivers a Powerpoint presentation about her worst f-boy experience to a bunch of inexperienced bachelorettes. Brittany’s mother got bored of documenting her children’s experiences after the first child, and it...

<p>Joe Nunnink joins us!! Joe sh*ts his pants in a sea of middle school kids, demolishes his giant Lego castle in a rage, and discovers he has an evil super power. Brittany learns that all horses have autism, and Ali...