
Episode #35
Why Reassurance Doesn’t Always Make You Feel Better — Part 1
Think you just need more confidence? Not necessarily. Research on self-esteem shows something surprisingly counterintuitive: compliments, reassurance, and even positive relationships don’t always make us feel better about ourselves. Sometimes, they can actually create more discomfort. In this episode, I explore what may be happening underneath that reaction — how the stories we carry about ourselves shape what we expect from other people, why past experiences can continue influencing the present, and the difference between looking confident on the outside and having a solid foundation underneath. We Unravel: • Why compliments and reassurance don’t always make us feel better • How low self-esteem can become protective by keeping us anchored to a familiar story • Why our past experiences can shape what we expect from relationships • The idea that “memories are the database of self-esteem” • The difference between looking confident and having a solid foundation underneath • Esther Perel’s definition of confidence • Why confidence may have more to do with trust than certainty • Dr. Dan Siegel’s SIFT practice • How neuroplasticity helps explain why our learned reactions don’t have to stay fixed forever This episode is for anyone who wants to better understand what really shapes the way we feel about ourselves. Stay Connected: Follow the show: @elaineclark_ Email: info@elaineclark.ca




