Episode #246
Why Not Me? Dealing with Twins Parent Preference with Twin Mom Nicole Kernan
In this episode of the Twiniversity Podcast, Nat sits down with Nicole Kernan — mom to fraternal twin girls Ollie and Lou (two and a half) — to talk about the thing so many parents feel and rarely say out loud: parent preference. Nicole did everything as a team — exclusive pumping, a husband who took full paternity leave — and one twin still gravitated hard toward Dad, leaving her buried in guilt. Nat meets her in the eye of the storm with the reframe that changes everything: stop trying to be equal, start being fair, and shift the story from "them vs. me" to we — because a child with two parents they can fully depend on isn't a rejection, it's a gift. A QUICK SHOUTOUT This series is brought to you by CordBlood.com — and since July is Cord Blood Awareness Month, there's no better time to talk about it. Your babies' umbilical cord blood is a one-time source of precious newborn stem cells, and once the cord is cut, it's usually thrown away. Banking it lets you collect and preserve those cells right at birth — and with twins, that's two once-in-a-lifetime chances you only get on delivery day. https://cordblood.com Use code DUO2 for special twin-family pricing. This episode's break is brought to you by the Twiniversity Virtual Twins Meeting — the exact community Nat invites Nicole into. Meet Nat and Lauren, bring them your biggest twin-life challenge of the month (parent preference absolutely counts), and remember you are never doing this alone. Join the next Twiniversity Virtual Twins Meeting EPISODE THEMES ⦿ Why "my twin prefers Dad" is far more common than you think — and often a person preference, not a snub ⦿ How the preferred parent can flip overnight (first Ollie, then Lou) ⦿ The guilt and shame nobody names — NICU guilt, pumping guilt, and "why not me?" ⦿ Don't force it — but don't let the preferred parent "rescue" either ⦿ The crib standoff, the tantrum only Dad can calm, and the story-time lap meltdown ⦿ Trying to be fair instead of equal (you'll never hit exactly-equal, and that's okay) ⦿ The orange on the counter: how moms and dads carry the mental load differently ⦿ Shifting the whole story from "them versus me" to we ⦿ Why a parent preference can actually be a gift, not a rejection ⦿ Building your bench — twins are not a solo sport ⦿ Protecting your own time, friendships, and sense of self ⦿ It's a phase: your present, not your always — and awareness means you're already doing it right GIVEAWAYS YOU'RE INVITED: Need more support? Join us each month for our Twiniversity Virtual Meeting. Meet Nat and Lauren and bring them your biggest twin life challenges each month of the year. For dates and more details visit: https://twiniversity.mykajabi.com/offers/MKse3EVR/checkout ✔️ Subscribe to the Twiniversity Email Newsletter! https://www.twiniversity.com/subscribe/ Expecting twins? Twiniversity has you COVERED with online classes! ⬇️ Breastfeeding Twins: https://twiniversity.mykajabi.com/offers/HTaVcGhH/checkout Twins After Singletons: https://twiniversity.mykajabi.com/offers/hegrd8Ez/checkout Baby Safety (CPR, First Aid, Car Seat Safety, Childproofing): https://twiniversity.mykajabi.com/offers/AccFMLk8/checkout CONNECT WITH US ️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Twiniversity Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/twiniversity/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Twiniversity/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twiniversity X: http://twitter.com/Twiniversity Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/60TDcDJoEtQHwqLzZ8L9rX?si=9734d507f23845e6 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/twiniversity Email: community@twiniversity.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Meet Nicole and her twin girls, Ollie & Lou 02:45 Exclusive pumping and Dave's 12 weeks of leave 04:30 The guilt and shame nobody talks about 06:50 Kids prefer a person, not just a parent 09:40 A career change flips the preference to Lou 11:00 The crib standoff and Dad-only tantrums 13:35 The Sunday release valve 17:45 The story-time meltdown: there's no winning 20:30 The orange on the counter 22:20 Shifting from "him/her" to "we" 25:15 Twins are not a solo sport 31:20 The NICU, preeclampsia, and pumping guilt 36:15 Be fair, not equal 50:05 Preference as a gift: two dependable parents 57:55 The Twiniversity moms meeting 59:50 Awareness means you're doing it right


