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Hosted by Rowan Kaiser · tv · EN
TOTAL MASSACRE is a science fiction and action movie podcast hosted by Rowan Kaiser, Kev Koeser, and Carli Velocci!
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Contact path
Verified email
Booking probability
34%
Guest openness
Selective
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Signup to Generate a PitchTOTAL MASSACRE is hosted by Rowan Kaiser. The show has published 100 episodes to date.
Recent episodes include "No Other Choice" (25 August 2026, 72 minutes), "Synecdoche, New York" (8 August 2025, 91 minutes), and "The Breakfast Club" (24 April 2025, 90 minutes).
TOTAL MASSACRE publishes roughly every two weeks, with episodes averaging 93 minutes across 100 episodes.
Booking probability for TOTAL MASSACRE is 34%, and the host is rated Selective on guests. TOTAL MASSACRE requires a Pod Score of 80 or higher. TOTAL MASSACRE's contact route on record: verified email.
The strongest fits for TOTAL MASSACRE are Film & Video. TOTAL MASSACRE has a tv audience.
Rowan Kaiser hosts TOTAL MASSACRE, a tv podcast with 100 episodes published.
Our AI reads these to draft pitches. Use them as grounding for a pitch that cites a real guest and a specific topic.
Episode #2
Rowan and Kev get back in the swing of things by discussing a movie that doesn't fit any of our previous categorizations: No Other Choice. Rowan hadn't seen it and isn't fully on board, shockingly given her love of Park...
Episode #6
"It is a play about dating. It's not a play just about death. It's about everything. Dating, birth, death, life, family—all that." TOTAL MASSACRE returns, kind of, with a show about Charlie Kaufman's...
Episode #5
Our project getting into the Teen Girl High School Social Satire Canon requires a delve into John Hughes, and we've picked THE BREAKFAST CLUB, because it's the best, least problematic, and somehow Rowan never saw it...
Episode #4
They're all gonna laugh at you. TOTAL MASSACRE starts its foray into the teen girl high school social satire canon with CARRIE, a film that may not be satire, but it's very concerned with many of the same things, as...
Episode #3
It's all led to this. Over a hundred episodes of action movies, science fiction movies, crime lesbian movies, and Gerwig movies has to our apotheosis: LADY BIRD. Why did Kev redefine their life about this movie? Why was...
Episode #2
Gerwig month continues with Mistress America, a film about what happens when you get the coolest step-sister of all time who's also a total loser but then the film isn't actually about her, it's about you, and you don't...
Episode #1
TOTAL MASSACRE is going through a rough time. Our best friend Carli got other things to do in life instead of hanging out with us all time (congrats Carli!) Fiasco month didn't get us hired for the Christmas show. We've...
Episode #43
TOTAL MASSACRE's Fiasco month concludes with Southland Tales, Richard Kelly's 2006 disasterpiece of a followup to Donnie Darko. It's a movie that's very angry about George W Bush, ineffective liberals, racist cops, and...
Episode #43
Fiasco month(s) continues with the Wachowskis' and Tom Twyker's masterfiascopiece, CLOUD ATLAS, a film about the indominatible power of the human spirit and also Halle Berry as an evil elderly Korean doctor. Chris Dole...
Episode #42
Fiasco Month at Total Massacre kicks off with the original overly ambitious sci-fi fiasco, Fritz Lang's Metropolis. Guest Val McKenna joins Carli and Kev in discussing this movie's troubled production but also its...
Episode #41
Rowan gets a well deserved Cronenbergsmas rest as the helpful spirits of Carli, Kev, and special guest Noel Kirkpatrick discuss Scanners... sort of. We talk about how Scanners is the Cronenberg of past, present, and...
Episode #40
Merry Cronenbergsmas! We're buzzing to bring your our next episode on Cronenberg's classic, THE FLY, a delightfully weird little film about everything that can go wrong when journalists hook up with their sources...
Episode #39
Television: good, or bad? This and all other questions surrounding the medium of television will be answered by VIDEODROME and the ensuing TOTAL MASSACRE podcast about VIDEODROME, starring Rowan Kaiser, Carli Velocci...
Episode #38
CRIME LESBIAN Month concludes with BOUND, The Wachowskis before-its-time erotic thriller from 1996. It's a well-loved movie for Rowan, Kev, special guest Alex Welch, and...wait, Carli doesn't like it? Well that just got...
Episode #37
Critical support to women's wrongs, as Crime Lesbian Month continues with 2024's LOVE LIES BLEEDING. It's a nasty little thriller which shows how far Kristen Stewart has come as a weirdo since her TWILIGHT days, and...
Episode #36
CRIME LESBIAN CRIME LESBIAN CRIME LESBIAN IT'S CRIME LESBIAN MONTH for Rowan's birthday, and we're kicking it off with Park Chan-Wook's lesbian thriller, THE HANDMAIDEN. Did it preface a decade of pop culture lesbians...
Episode #35
October's cosmic horror month concludes with the reason for the season: ANNIHILATION (2018), a film all three hosts and special guest from RogerEbert.com and New York Magazine Matt Zoller Seitz all excited to get into...
Episode #34
TOTAL MASSACRE goes back to Lovecraft as we discuss COLOR OUT OF SPACE. Listen to us discuss how much substance is really beneath the surface of this movie, how this modern take diverges from the very 80s FROM BEYOND...
Episode #33
Cosmic horror month invades from another dimension, as TOTAL MASSACRE checks out Patreon suggestion FROM BEYOND, a 1986 adaptation of a Lovecraft short story with some of the gnarliest practical effects you've ever...
Episode #32
Zombie month concludes with a modern masterpiece of the genre, 2016's TRAIN TO BUSAN. It's a fast-paced, fast-zombie film that went viral in the streaming age, and Rowan, Carli, and special guest Bryant Francis are here...
Recent guests on TOTAL MASSACRE. Study who booked and why before you pitch.
senior fleet safety manager, Deep Run track and field
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Associate Athletic Director for Communications, Men of Influence & Neighbors for Education
Program Officer for International Humanitarian Law, Employment Law Center of Maryland
PitchCentric classifies TOTAL MASSACRE under these industries. Guests from them are the closest fit, and each links to the best podcasts in that industry.
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