Things That Matter with Martie McNabb
Episode 66: The Ashtray That Came Back: When the Things We Keep Carry Our Stories with Xanthe Golenko
Sometimes the smallest things carry the biggest stories. In this episode of Things That Matter , I sit down with Xanthe to hear the story behind a small black ashtray she acquired in 1986 after moving from Australia to France at just 18 years old to dance at the Lido de Paris. The ashtray stayed with her through that chapter of her life before eventually being packed away for decades. When Xanthe and her husband moved back to France years later, they brought it out for a housewarming party. Then a storm blew it off their balcony, and it disappeared. Just days later, while walking through a local flea market, Xanthe spotted another black Lido ashtray. It was €5. Was it the same ashtray that had blown away? She and her husband still debate that question. But for Xanthe, it didn’t really matter. Whether it was the original or simply a remarkable coincidence, she felt that it was meant to come back to her. And I understand why. That little ashtray represented so much more than an object. It represented being 18, moving across the world, dancing in Paris, taking risks, and becoming someone new. Finding it again 40 years later connected Xanthe to that younger version of herself while also reminding her of how much her life had changed. We also talked about the things we inherit from our parents and how objects can keep us connected to people we’ve lost. Xanthe shared how going through her mother’s belongings after her death helped her feel connected to her, even through the sentimental objects she left behind. That’s why I don’t believe we need to keep everything. We need to curate the things that matter and, most importantly, tell the stories behind them. Our children may not want every object we leave behind. But they may want to know why it mattered to us. And even if they eventually let go of the thing, they can still keep the story. So take a look around your own personal museum. What is one ordinary-looking object that carries an extraordinary story? And have you told someone that story? Because as I always say, it’s not the things that matter. It’s the stories attached to them. To find out more about this beautiful human doing important healing work in the world, visit: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/xanthe-golenko-b0993752 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/xanthe.golenko Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/getting_artsy_after_50/ Website: https://gettingartsyafter50.com/ Are you looking to build deeper connections, community & legacy with your employees, volunteers, donors, community, alumni, family, friends, residents, team or event participants? Hire me to host a unique story-sharing gathering, playshop, exhibition or retreat. Email me at martie at showandtales dot com Have a story of a special item you’d love to share? Reach out to Martie McNabb at info at showandtales dot com and be part of a future episode with the Subject line: Podcast Guest✨ If you were asked, “What Things would tell your life story?” What Things would you choose? Look around your home, office & even on yourself …. what Things do you surround yourself with & what stories would they tell? Grab my My Life in 30 Things playsheet to list your Things that matter here: https://www.showandtales.com/30-things-story/ Watch here: Or Listen Here:
