Therapy For Gay Men

Why do some gay men go to such extreme lengths to feel connected?I sat down with bestselling author Johann Hari to talk about loneliness, addiction, shame, sex, validation, social media, appearance culture, and the...

A few weeks ago, Matthew Vines and I were complete strangers. Then we both found ourselves in the middle of the same controversy for saying something pretty simple: we prefer to be called gay—not queer. What interested...

Can you be gay and asexual? In this episode, I break down what it can actually mean to be both. Asexuality doesn’t necessarily mean having no arousal, no fantasies, or no sexual life. For some people, arousal may show...

My “gay, not queer” post sparked a much bigger reaction than I expected. But this episode isn’t about rehashing the argument. Instead, I’m talking about what the backlash got me thinking about: why so many gay men...

Why do so many gay men struggle to stay hard—even when they’re attracted to the person they’re with? In this episode, gay men’s therapist Michael Pezzullo breaks down four overlooked psychological causes of erection...

Why do so many gay men walk away from sex convinced they performed badly—even when nothing actually went wrong? In this episode, therapist Michael Pezzullo explores five reasons gay men often mistake anxiety...

Most gay men have never been taught what a normal penis looks like—or how a healthy erection actually works. Instead, we compare ourselves to porn, unrealistic expectations, and a culture that often turns sex into a...

One of the most common pieces of advice in recovery is simple: don't date during your first year sober. I didn't follow that advice. Five months after leaving rehab, I met the man who would eventually become my husband...

Why do so many gay men feel empty after sex? A lot of people assume the problem is the sex itself. But in many cases, the emptiness comes from hoping sex will provide something it was never designed to give us. In this...

In this episode, I break down four reasons narcissistic men can feel so compelling—from love bombing and idealization to validation wounds, attraction to certainty, and the cultural traits that often make narcissistic...

Spotify Episode Description Why do so many gay men fantasize about straight guys? Most people assume it's because straight men are more masculine, more confident, or simply harder to get. But the psychology is often...

Why do so many gay men stay in relationships that clearly aren't working? The truth is that most people don't miss the red flags. They see them. The challenge is understanding why we ignore them. In this episode of...

Why do so many gay men remain skeptical of Colton Underwood years after he came out? In this episode, I explore the psychology behind authenticity, trust, and the false self. Using Colton as a case study, we discuss why...

Bathhouses are one of the most misunderstood spaces in gay culture. Some men experience them as liberating, exciting, and deeply affirming. For others, they can become a place where loneliness, avoidance, or emotional...

Age-gap relationships are one of the most debated topics in the gay community. Some people see them as empowering. Others see them as inherently problematic. But as a gay men's therapist, I think the conversation is...