Episode #7
The Empty Side of Our Bed: Love, Caregiving, and Life After Loss
When someone you have loved for decades dies, the love does not end—but the life you shared changes completely. In this episode of the Solo Dad Podcast, Matt sits down with author and widower Bill Beckett to talk about his wife, Bonnie, their 27 years together, her cancer journey, and the difficult work of learning to live with the empty side of their bed. Bill and Bonnie met online in the early days of the internet, long before dating apps, profile pictures, and video calls. Their relationship began through written conversations and long walks in a Florida park. What drew them together was not a carefully selected photograph or a polished dating profile. It was communication, emotional connection, and the feeling that they had found something rare. Bill became a husband and a father to Bonnie’s two sons. Together, they navigated blending a family, multiple miscarriages, and the eventual arrival of their youngest son, Billy. Bill reflects on how that child later became an important source of strength following Bonnie’s death. In 2012, Bonnie was diagnosed with stage-two thyroid cancer. After treatment, they believed the cancer was behind them. Five years later, they received the devastating news that she had stage-four pancreatic and liver cancer. Her oncologist was direct: Bonnie was going to die. The question was not if, but when. Bill shares the nearly three-year journey that followed—chemotherapy, hospitals, surgeries, tumors, rods placed in Bonnie’s leg and arm, and eventually home hospice during the height of COVID restrictions. He talks honestly about becoming the caregiver he never imagined himself to be: running the home, bathing Bonnie, washing her hair, managing medications, and keeping the promises contained in the words “in sickness and in health.” Despite everything happening to her, Bonnie remained concerned about the people she loved. She told Bill she was not afraid of dying solely for herself—she did not want her death to hurt him, their boys, their parents, and everyone who loved her. After Bonnie’s death on August 1, 2020, Bill turned to writing. His first book, Love Family Cancer , began as a way to process their love story, family life, and cancer journey. His second book, The Empty Side of Our Bed , was written to help other widows and widowers understand that their confusing, painful, and sometimes contradictory grief responses are normal. Bill and Matt discuss why the second year of grief can feel harder than the first, the “shadows on the calendar” created by birthdays and anniversaries, and the duality of memories: they are precious because they keep our person close, but painful because no new shared memories can be created. https://www.amazon.com/Empty-Side-Our-Bed-Journey/dp/B0FK25R39C#detailBullets_feature_div Through the CLIMB framework, Bill’s story reflects: Courage: Allowing himself to cry, grieve, feel anger, and speak openly about the emotional reality of widowhood. Learning: Understanding that grief is personal, nonlinear, and impossible to reduce to a simple set of steps. Integration: Carrying Bonnie’s love and memory while accepting that she is not coming back. Movement: Slowly reentering life, dating again, writing, and allowing himself to build a different future. Building and Belonging: Using therapy, books, shared stories, and the widowed community to remind others that they are not alone. Bill’s message to anyone in early grief is simple: go easier on yourself. It is okay to cry. It is okay to have a day when you do not want to participate in life. What happened to you was traumatic, and healing cannot be rushed. This episode is for widows, widowers, caregivers, adult children grieving a parent, men who struggle to express emotion, and anyone trying to understand how love continues after death. Ready for more than just listening? Explore the CLIMB framework and support options at https://solodad.life/
