
Episode #5
Loving What Is - Accepting Relationships as They ARE
Sixtysomething Season 3, Episode 5: Loving What Is What happens when someone you love is no longer the person you remember—or when a relationship that was once incredibly close simply isn’t the same anymore? In this episode, I’m sharing a realization that has changed the way I think about some of the most important relationships in my life: if we want a relationship with someone today, we have to have it with who they are now—not who they used to be. I talk about my own evolving relationship with my daughter, Juliet, and the moment I realized that while I was still waiting for our old relationship to return, she already considered us close. That one conversation helped me understand what Byron Katie calls loving what is —accepting the reality of a relationship without constantly comparing it to the past. We’ll talk about adult children, old friendships, expectations, resentment, boundaries, and why distance doesn’t always mean rejection. And perhaps most importantly, how putting down the measuring stick of the past can leave us free to appreciate the love and connection that are actually available to us now. In this episode: Why accepting a changed relationship is not the same as approving of everything about it The difference between what actually happened and the story we tell ourselves about it Why our grown children may be perfectly happy with a relationship we think is lacking How constantly comparing today with yesterday can make us miss what’s still good Why bitterness and keeping score cost us far more than they cost anyone else Learning to meet the people we love as they are today Extending that same acceptance to the person we have become And I’m introducing our very first Sixtysomething Book Club selection! Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt is the story of Tova Sullivan, a widow in her seventies who works nights at an aquarium and develops an unlikely friendship with Marcellus, an extraordinarily intelligent giant Pacific octopus. It’s warm, funny, mysterious, and filled with themes of loss, family, friendship, and unexpected second chances. Even better, the novel has now been made into a Netflix film starring Sally Field , so we’ll have both the book and movie to talk about. I'll announce the date for that next week, but It will be in approximately one month from the date of this episode. I want you to have time to read it! Join us in the Sixtysomething Facebook group to keep the conversation going. And if you enjoy the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you’d leave a review. It helps more people find Sixtysomething. Keep your sunny side up! Sixtysomething Book Club Remarkably Bright Creatures — Shelby Van Pelt Learn more about Remarkably Bright Creatures and find buying options * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Hey Friends! It's me, Grace! I just want to thank you for listening. I hope you’ll let me know what you think about the podcast and if any particular episodes resonate with you. Listed just below here is my contact information and all of the social channels where you can find me, as well as the link to our Facebook Group. Contact Info Grace Taylor Segal Email: grace@gracetaylorsegal.com Facebook: 60something Page ( https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553062496332 ) Instagram: @60somethingpod Facebook Group: 60Something Pod https://www.facebook.com/groups/1665326354000332 Links (Mentioned in this episode) Credits Sixtysomething Theme Song Music & lyrics by Lizzy Sanford Vocals by Lizzy Sanford Guitar: Lizzy & Coco Sanford To Leave a Review: On Apple Podcasts (no link is available--here are the steps) Open the Apple Podcasts app. Search for the podcast you want to review. Select the podcast show page (not an individual episode). Scroll to the bottom of the page. Click "Write a Review". On the Sixtysomething Podcast Website https://www.sixtysomething.net/reviews/new/ Thank you so much for taking the time to review the show! Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Epiphany 02:31 Missing Old Closeness 04:48 Loving What Is 07:49 Grown Kids Change 10:57 Friend’s Daughter Shift 14:19 Stop Measuring by Past 16:34 Juliet Story Begins 21:43 Acceptance and Boundaries 25:06 Drop the Stories 29:36 Avoiding Bitterness 35:22 Acceptance Not Approval 39:34 Eras and Letting Be 48:25 Practice This Reframe 53:30 Book Club and Goodbye






