Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis Column

Have you ever heard a dude say that he would still bed Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island, even if she's currently 110 years old? Well, the same goes for Sandy in Grease. In fact, if those rambunctious teenaged gearheads...

The union of marriage is a sanctimonious institution that has effectively been the glue that has bound our species for millennia. Without that legal commitment, which has basically stood as a contract between two people...

I think it is the devil's candy. Call me broken, but when the thought of black licorice enters my thoughts, I immediately picture the odd fuck from Lemony Snickets hiding a sinister grin behind his outreached hand that...

We've all heard that it takes two to tango. But have you ever known anyone who ever tried tangoing? No, you haven't. Is tangoing even a word? Everyone has tried to Limbo, but even though these two world renowned dances...

The moment your automobile doors are shut with the driveshaft engaged; the contest is underway. Regardless of who is behind the wheel of other vehicles competing for space on the road, your primary objective is to...

Anyone who's ever worked in a restaurant knows that when you have two half-empty bottles of the world's most popular condiment, you pour one into the other to make one of them appear fresh and new while the other gets...

Dragon ass should not be confused with dragging ass. Dragging ass is something we all do when our energy is low, especially in the moments upon waking before the requisite black brewed stimulant sparks the body's motor...

If you missed going to Disneyland as a kid, there's a part of you that feels like you got Jipped. Maybe your parents provided a solid upbringing, but if you never felt those nervous butterflies before crossing the...

If you think about it, much of your precious time is spent future tripping over things that have never happened, or most likely will never happen. Because in your mind, living with concern is a necessary means to...

Friendship, it's potentially the most imperative virtue in life. Because without some form of reflective exchange with another living animal, it's nearly impossible to apply meaning to our existence. In fact, since our...

Khaki is a baby boomer color. They used to be into safaris. You see, fifty years ago they were the ultimate adventure, which is why these dust-colored outfits are made with waterproof panels and leftover mosquito net...

To be great at America's favorite pastime, you only need to succeed three out of every ten attempts. We're talking about getting hits in baseball here, not getting lucky between the sheets. However, for you men out...

I know, you're wondering if this is a topic that really needs to be discussed. Or can we just bundle it up and toss it in the washing machine, pretending it never happened. And my response is that it does need to be...

Humans have been walking upright for nearly 200 million years. The average life span of a Neanderthal was 32 years. The number of people that have existed over this course of time is, well, a shitload. And through all...

Yes, pinky swears are a lighthearted agreement rarely enforced, but we all know that there exists a code with the intention of not being broken. Because in this sue happy world of painful litigation, if we don't respect...