Static Radio

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

Static Radio is a comedy podcast hosted by Bob LeMent, with 200 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Bob LeMent hosts Static Radio, a comedy show with 200 episodes published.

Our AI reads these to draft pitches. Use them as grounding for a pitch that cites a real guest and a specific topic.

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  Episode #8

  LeMent Tonight for September 10, 2026

  Sep 12, 2026—S2

  This Week On this episode of LeMent Tonight , host Bob LeMent welcomes Las Vegas comedian, bartender, and street musician Steve K. for a candid, wide-ranging conversation on navigating the comedy world. Steve opens with a self-deprecating monologue touching on getting older, the indignities of open mics, and feeling like an outsider in entertainment. The discussion quickly pivots into an honest dive into Steve’s 20-year obsession with stand-up, where Bob challenges Steve’s tendency to get trapped in his own head and hyper-focus on local scene politics. Offering tough-love mentorship, Bob encourages him to stop obsessing over peer validation, lean into his unique raw perspective much like Rodney Dangerfield did, and measure success by the creative act rather than the pursuit of fame. @tomedy601 https://youtube.com/live/0EaFjA6ayF4 Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody, it’s Lament Tonight. I’ve got my special guest tonight, Steve K. Steve comes from Las Vegas, Nevada. he’s an eligible bachelor there in las Vegas. he uh part-time uh drag queen, full-time bartender, I think, right? So, let me read you a quick bio that he has here. He’s a comedian who just does not feel like he fits into the comedy scene. Isn’t that all comedian Steve? But I cannot stop thinking about doing comedy. So, here i am. Maybe I can feel part of a community here. That’s his plausible bio. Steve K. from Vegas. How’s it going, Steve? Um, well, thank you, Bob. Thank you for having me and hello to all your listeners out there. Well, I was gonna you can do a little monologue here if you’d like. I’ll just kick it over to you. Oh, I feel like we’re on the Jimmy Fallon show or Jimmy Killen. I get to go out on the stage. Yeah. Where’s the band? Well, here, hold on a second. Let’s see. Gary, are you there? And that’s what she said. Oh, yeah, that’s true. Bob, you are a great asshole. Thank you, Gary. All right. Go ahead, Steve. Okay, I’m just going to read some crap to you guys. I’m reading right off a piece of paper. I can afford to do that here because you can’t see me and my glasses. I just want you to know that I am competing very hard for my next gig. as a shopping cart attendant. I believe I got what it takes. I won’t let anything or anyone stand in my way. Not even my comedy career. I really feel I got this. And between the busting music on the street and DoorDash, I won’t need to work anywhere else and I can focus more on my open mic career. There we go. Hey, thank you. Give me the light. In comedy, we have the light, Bob. So give me the light when my time’s up, all right? Oh, I’ll just, I’ll give you the hook, but go right ahead. Yeah, give me the hook. You know, they used to say when we were young, don’t trust anyone over 30. Now it’s the opposite. We’re being erased. Okay, look at a magazine, 40 successful people under 40. Every time there’s an acting gig, they don’t want us. The jobs I work, young people ride around in golf carts, three, four of them, or they’re hiding and they come around to make sure that I’m not leaning up against the wall. In speed dating, all the groups of 25 to 35, 35 to 42, you don’t have anything really above 42. Maybe incorporate a 55 plus island but we will be the final generation. I know, don’t laugh at your own words. Thank you. Some foods know not to enter my mouth because my body is like the Hotel California. You can check in anytime you want, but it can never leave. It takes me two days to shit out a slice of pizza. Passing gas is your body’s way of saying, hey, I got food trapped inside of me. Sometimes I feel like a rocket ship that keeps trying to take off, but it can’t, so it keeps shooting out flames. Never ask a woman… Thank you, Bob. Thank you for the mercy laugh, the mercy symbols. Two more jokes and you’ll be out of your misery, everybody. Never ask a woman her age. We should all know that by now. It’s written somewhere. in the Ten Commandments, but it’s a double standard. Just like it’s okay for a woman to clean a men’s room when men are urinating. Recently, a woman bluntly asked me how old I was. I told her the truth. She replied, still kicking it. Huh? As she looked me up and down, I said, stop sizing me up. What the hell does that mean, still kicking it? anyway you haven’t you haven’t kicked a bucket yet? You haven’t kicked over? Yeah, but i i’m still kicking it. I’m kicking it hard. Thank you. When I was a child, they were tearing up the woods. So I tried putting up uh flyers oh they’re tearing up the woods, right? And every time they’re tearing up the woods, I thought, wow, you know, new kids are gonna move in and i’m gonna make some new friends because i didn’t have any friends. That’s why i was riding my bicycle around in the woods, right? Well, these kids, they would not be friends with me. They were rich kids. They became friends with the popular kids. So then not only did I not have any friends, but I didn’t have any more woods to ride through. So I tried putting up flyers, like for a flag football league. Nobody showed up. You know, this is before the internet. I don’t know. Oh, oh, wait, one more thing and I’ll stop, all right? Well, I’m going to bring it up. I’m going to turn it around, okay? I got an email from Plausible. Anybody, you should all join Plausible because you’ll get it on the email list. You can participate in, like, workshops and comedy. And they sent out emails. Who’s on your comedy team? And I had to think about it. Nobody but me. If I were in a bubblegum shrimp boat… Not even Lieutenant Dan without his legs would come join me. I try to start an open mic here. Applause will go to Forrest and friends. I get everybody one day notice. I sat there for one hour. Nobody’s sure. This is my career in a nutshell. I will hand it back to you, Bob. Thank you. Oh, okay. Let me give you some applause there. Well, I was wondering at one point there during your monologue if we weren’t going to be starting a support group here. Well, that’s what it is. Comedy is a support group. I’m not going to lie. It’s just something I do. I think you’ve got a couple of different divergent support groups going. You have the constipation support group and then also the comedy slash support group. So maybe you can combine the two. Why not? I mean, I try to start an open mic implausible, but apparently I’m not cool here. I’m not popular. Well, nobody is. You know how it goes, Steve. I know. I try not to take it personally. I’m trying to find a funny in it, Bob. You’d be on TikTok if you were really popular. I’ve been on TikTok. It’s a horrible app. That’s where Miles is right now. Miles Title, my co-host for Static Radio. He’s over on TikTok right now. I guarantee it. We won’t touch him, will we? Oh, no, I judge him constantly. Totally judge him. All right. Well, let’s not talk about him. Let’s talk about you, Steve. So you’ve been doing comedy for how long now? I started in 2006. Really? 2006? And what was the catalyst to do this? Well, I was always a writer from a time I was 12. But I went on a website for a local comedy club where I lived. And it was like a little ad site. comedy classes. You too can become a comedian. I think it was $250 for the class. Now, I never thought about how do you become a comedian. I like some comedy. I’m like, wow, you could take a class and you could actually do comedy. I never thought about it. Wow, I’m going to take this class. I made up my mind when I saw that ad. I was 39 years old and I took the class. And ever since then, I quit many times. I walked away, but I’ve been obsessed. I’ve been obsessed with comedy for the last 20 years. Interesting. But it sounds like, I mean, is comedy… It’s not doing it for you. You have all these kind of, you know, bad experiences. Because of me. I have to take accountability for what I did. What were you doing? I’m just like a piece of wood that needed to be sanded down. I was rough around the edges. I’m the guy… who goes from one extreme to the other, who doesn’t talk much or talks your ear off, who doesn’t know how to make things, who’s too real maybe, too open about himself. There’s too much for people to handle. Gotcha. Well, that’s a good question. So you thought that maybe you were touching on subjects that people were uncomfortable with? Uh, yeah, I, I believe it wasn’t funny. And, and, uh, you know, I’ve been told many times, this is not your therapy session, Steven. You have to talk about things that people can relate to it. That’s part of my problem. I have to, I have to let go of my narcissism and, you know, make it about other people. That’s how you get people to like you. That’s why I’m so alone. You know, I’m, I’m too self involved. Well, how can you get out of your head? That’s what you always got to do. You got to get out of your head, you know? Have you tried anything else? I mean, you took a comedy class. So, I mean, you showed some initiative to do something, right? That you thought, oh, this will be interesting. I like comedy. I want to do this, right? And now you’ve just told me one of the issues that you’re having. So why haven’t you attacked that issue the way you attacked the comedy thing? I think I finally found the formula. It took 20 years because I mean, I told you I’ve been going to open mics on and off, and I was the awkward, clumsy kid who couldn’t fit in at these mics. I always made maybe one or two friends, or I would get paranoid. I thought I was too popular, and I would just disappear and hide for two years. And in comedy, when you disappear, when you stop coming around, it’s like you’re erased when you come back. You know, nobody knows you. You’re a couple years older, too, and people don’t like old people. So that’s, you know, I’m just… I… Now, why do you think people don’t like old people? That’s the feeling. I remember I went to a workshop. Look around. Brad Pitt is freaking 60 years old. They love him. He’s old. He’s incumbent. They saw when he was young and he was attractive. I went to a comedy workshop one time and the manager said, amongst other things, amongst telling us that some of us are mentally ill and other things, he said that you should be young. It’s okay if you want to make it come and you’re older, but you’ll have to work twice as hard. You see, the entertainment business does not like old people. I see the comments. I see the way people act to me. Some people, young people, are cool, but a lot of them, you know, they don’t like us. They don’t want us around. We’re like extinct dinosaurs that they barely tolerate. Well, I think, you know, I think you’re right. You’re overdoing it a little bit. I think you’re letting it affect you. That’s part of my problem. I take everything personally, too personally. Yes. Do you enjoy doing this? I love it. Okay. Then just do it. And whatever their hang-ups are, they’re hang-ups. And you just have to do what you want to do as long as you’re not hurting anybody else. I mean, you’re just having fun. What’s wrong with that? It took me a long time to figure it out, but I’m learning not to look at other comics and their success. I just try to… Oh, the jealousy factor. That’s what you’re getting at. Horribly. But I’m trying my best just to be the best… Why are you jealous? Why are you jealous? What is wrong with Steve that he has to be jealous of some other numbskull out there? Because they… Their existence is credited because they’re on flyers. They’re in real shows. Oh, come on. I feel like a zero. I feel like Scrooge, like he’s dead and he’s looking through the window. That’s how I feel. I felt this way my whole life. And the more I talk about it, I can’t talk. I’m talking about it here, but I don’t talk about it because I know people don’t want to hear about it. It repels people. Well, I’m trying to help. So you have to… Okay, everybody can’t be famous, Steve. There’s only so many slots. I don’t want to be famous. I just want to be counted. You are counted. You’re counted. You’re there. You’re doing it. You are the 1% if you’re doing it. You don’t realize this, right? So you talk about the 1% of people who have all the money and everything, right? And whenever you look at the world, chances are you’re in the 1%. if you have a steady job or any kind of means. But if you look at the comedy world and you look at based on everybody else, you are in probably better than the 1% because you’re actually doing something. Most people do nothing. And they criticize what we do. They’re trolls. That’s fine. That’s what they do. But they’re not actually creating something. something they’re reacting to something they’re not creating and you know, you have to keep take keep perspective right so you’re you’re if you can imagine you’re looking at everything with a magnifying glass and there’s a whole world around you that you’re not seeing because you are looking at it through this magnifying glass and all you’re seeing is what is through that glass. Whenever there’s a whole world around that glass, that is, that you are beyond, right? You’re past all these people because you’re already doing something. Well, that’s what Instagram helped, Bob, because I was always focusing on the people I knew from the mics. Like, oh, why do they like, why does so-and-so like his post? But then I saw some guy in India in a hut is liking my video. You don’t know he’s in a hut, Steve. Well, you know what I’m saying? You’re right. I’m looking past that, past the bullshit and the local politics. And, you know, and I just like a Babe Ruth, I want to hit that ball out of the stadium, man. Then do it. I mean, here’s the difference, right? You know, the terrible thing, and this is something that, you know, maybe I’ve realized over time, the terrible thing is the most funny people are not the ones who are out in front of everybody. It’s the palatable people. The people who are accepted, acceptable and accepted. They are the ones that everybody knows because they’re not, they’re middle of the road. I thought about that. You’re truly, truly, truly hilarious. People are nowhere on the scene anywhere because they’re so far beyond the That people don’t get it. And I think about that when the Quake people watch me laughing. I know they’re thinking that they’re funnier than me. And, you know, who the hell am I to get up and try to be funny? You know, I’m like, why don’t they get up and show that they’re funny? Because I feel ashamed getting up and, you know, spitting out blanks when these funny people can get up and be funnier than me. Yeah. But it’s okay. Because they’re wherever they want to be. It’s not… You know, you can’t enter every race and you can’t win every race. So don’t bother with it. Just do what you want, you know? Yeah. If you’re happy doing it, you should do it, you know? Absolutely. You know, and all roots back to staying in your lane, Bob. No, you don’t have to. That’s the thing. There’s no lanes, my friend. There’s no lanes. I’m making an analogy. I got cut from the basketball team three times, so I finally joined swimming and track. There’s no tryouts in swimming and track. You stayed in your lane. You weren’t in competition. There’s no politics, cheerleaders. You just stayed in your lane, and you were the best swimmer and the best runner you could be. You are the swimming champion of the comedy world, my friend. Well, my real name is Carpy. It’s like a fish. Carp. I always say carp. Fish. So I am a fish. I just don’t like saying it because it doesn’t sound funny to me. It sounds clumsy and awkward when I say it. And even Pablo said Steve K. Anybody knows Pablo Lewin? Yeah, Pablo. So check him out, Pablo Lewin. That’s great. Yeah, Pablo’s fantastic. He’s a great guy. He sat here on the dais as well. I imagine so. All of you have kept me in calm. Even when I’m not going to mics, I just come onto this platform. I get so much love that you guys inspire me to go back to the mics. Let’s get away from this downer, Steve, and let’s talk about the fun, Steve. You recently took a trip across… The country, basically. Correct. Now, again, I know people who, you know, haven’t left their, you know, 50 mile radius of their house in 20 years. And here you are cutting across the country. I mean, that had to be some adventure. Oh, it was. By the way, it was my seventh time doing that. Oh, my Lord. Well, the other six times, what was the funnest one? I don’t think any of them were fun. But I always think those kind of trips are nothing but material generation trips. Because something is going to happen, whether you want it to or not. And chances are, if you can filter out the difficulties, it’s probably funny. Well, it’s funny because a lot of stuff could have happened. You’re right. I could have had a heart attack. I got sick. I could have crashed, right? By the grace of God, I made it. But both times I had a story to tell was at the hands of the people who were supposed to help us and protect us and serve us. Yeah. Trouble with the police. Yeah. Out trying to hurt people, not help people. They’re the ones who gave me material. I’m sure. I’m sure. Well, what happened? First time. And I’m not going to name a state. I’m paranoid. I’m afraid they’re going to look me up and come and stalk me or something. That’s how sick I am. But I was in an unnamed state. Can you give us a region? Yeah. Like out east, were you in the Midwest? Were you out west? All right. It’s southeast of you. It’s the state just – it’s like right below the state just east of you. Tennessee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No cities. My first time driving through – I made it through Texas all right. There was a border patrol stop in the middle of the state. I don’t know why. There’s only two cities in Tennessee. There’s Nashville. I’m not going to say the name. You can say it. And there’s Knoxville. That’s it. I don’t want to get the office in trouble. I’m afraid I saw what Ray Liotta, some movie where he was obsessed. He was a cop. I’m afraid of cops, to tell you the truth. Sure. This individual, he was in a little island somewhere. And it always happens 20 minutes before I get to the hotel. After driving all day. That’s what I mean. I’m almost there. I got through hell and fury. And then the final prize is there waiting 20 minutes in a hotel. Anyway, he was on the medium. I’m always very careful. I don’t speed. I never speed. I saw him. I didn’t make eye contact. I’m driving along about a mile down the road. I see he’s following me. And then I’m like knuckling it. I&#82

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  Episode #37

  Plumb Her

  Sep 7, 202634 minS27

  Miles plumbs around and finds out at the local big-box hardware store, while Bob is trying to figure out what Miles is up to. GAMES , like old-school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KybzZT8qwn4 Miles plumbs around and find out at the local big-box hardware store, while Bob is trying to figure out what Miles it up to. Plumb Her Bad AI Transcript Whoa, balloon. Hello? Hey, I got one black, one white, one black, one white, one black, and one white picture of you. You’re going to go ahead and catch your breath. Yeah, that was… I was writing this song in my head yesterday. Man, I got to get my friend Smidge to do the guitar for me. It’s very upbeat. Your friend Smidge, who you ignore until you want something? Oh, Pot, Cone, Kettle, Black… And Miles… Hey, Miles, you got a truck? You got something for me? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. I thought it was funny. Yeah, I guess so. Is that the whole song or you got more to it? It’s going to be along those lines. I mean, you know, I’m going to sing about my dog too, you know. Okay. I saw it originally. I was singing about my dog. So I got one black and one brown and one black and brown and one black and one brown. Or your country classic, I’m nothing but my dog’s bitch. I’m nothing but my dog’s bitch. Yeah. i’m glad i could be of service. I’m glad i could be of service. For scratching your itch i’m nothing but my dog. I’m just gonna be on the b side of my song. Sounds a lot like a rapid rod. Yeah. So static radio smiles. Oh, you’re here. Okay. Yeah. I just, I’m writing movies. I write songs. I’m very creative. Yeah. You’re very, you’re well, I like to think of different scenarios to put myself in just for fun. So you write a lot of porno movies? Is that what you’re saying? In my head? Yes. No. No, come on. And I’m going to go into the Hallmark store. Frank! No, Frank! Gretchen. Frank from Blue Velvet? They’re going to have the new 2026 ornaments. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, that’s it. Interesting. No, you’re a very creative guy. You don’t have a very good record of getting things actually done, but you think of a lot of things. If I can just impose on people and get them to do the work, then… Yeah, well, yeah, then that’s your… You know, I’m an idea guy, Chuck. I’m the idea guy, yeah. Yeah, okay. I’m the Tom Holtz of parenthood, you know. Yeah, that’s probably for sure. That is for sure, yeah. Everyone’s going to have to Google this whole show and be like, I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. The reference thing, like movies that are like 100 years old. Night Shift? What do you mean? Who’s the Fonz? He’s still on TV. He’s on Hazardous History or something like that. Oh, that guy works a lot. Yeah. Nowadays, he does. Yeah, he does. Henry Winkler. The Wink. The Wink Man, yeah. Well, you had a story. I don’t really have a story this week. I can’t think of anything. I mean, I could talk about you making fun of me. That’s about it right now. You know, I don’t know. Yeah. So you said you had a big story today, and then you did not like my response. You’re going up on story. Yeah, this jabroni reminds me that we’re recording tonight, which I had forgotten. Yeah, well, every time there’s a holiday. I do. It screws me up, man. It’s like me. I’m like one day behind. Your work doesn’t call you and go, are you going to show up? Miles, now get down here. We had a three-day weekend. I thought I didn’t work anymore. Yeah, get down here, Miles. Somebody’s got to make the donuts, Miles. Another old reference. Thank you. Everyone’s going to be lost in this. I went to a big box store for my plumbing needs. What kind of plumbing needs did you have? I got like a leaky shower thing going on. And it’s been going on. Is it leaking in the shower or outside the shower? No, in the shower. Like the faucet part is like… To me, that is… If I was going to channel Miles’ title, I would say that’s taking care of itself because there’s a drain right there. Everything is working. Yeah, it’s perfect. Why do I need to deal with it? Because it’s working still. After about two weeks of this, I’m like, I better fix this. And a water bill that went through the roof. Yeah, I know. Because I just paid the water bill and it was like 20 bucks higher. I’m like, what the fuck? Everyone is showering all day while this leak is happening. I haven’t showered for a week because of the leak. And I went to the first big box store, which… know it’s like a huge store, but there’s only like four people that work there. So there’s like no help, you know, like, okay, well this well then just go to YouTube. That’s what i do. Well, I had to get the part and stuff. I had to figure out what i had to get. I I’m old school. I go to places okay no problem and uh so i went to the second box store because, uh, my, Like, my oldest son’s best friend works there i’m like oh hey yeah you know, Big Dave will help me out, you know. Well, what’s up, Miles? I heard you got a leaky flower. Even though it’s the wrong department, you know, I always bug this guy anyway he’s like i all i do is water the flowers. That’s it. That’s all i do. I just get the carts. Why do you insist on asking me these stupid, like, this makes up the answer. That’s why i’m out here. I don’t know i was like, I don’t know. I’ll three. I don’t know. Fuck. I don’t know. I’ve never, I didn’t even, I only, I just walked through. I go to the break room. That’s it. I take a crap. I come back out. I get the cards and water the shit. And yeah, that’s it. And, uh, I realized early on the big Dave is not at work. I’m like, Oh, so I went to the actual department by myself. Like a big boy. Big boy. And I found the desk that the help should have been at. And it was unoccupied. Of course. And it says, today’s crew members for your needs will be Christy and Susie or something like that. like oh that sounds nice. You know, it’s probably too, you know, young lady. Very efficient, uh, licensed plumbers yeah yeah i’m like i’m like i don’t care. You know, anybody could work here. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk to no broad plumber. And I, uh, no, I did not play that card, but anyway, I, uh, I cannot find anyone in this department. So I go to the next department and there’s like, dude, it looks like a very young Santana working there. Hey, Santana. I go, Hey, I showed him a picture of my nasty bathtub. He’s like, Oh, you guys ever hear a soft scrub? Yeah. Like, wow. What the fuck? You may just want to replace all that. Yeah. Yeah. Good deal. Yeah. Did they have a bathtub from Ed Gein’s house? What’s with all the toenails? Yeah, what is that? He’s cutting toenails in there like 24-7. Yeah, right. So I explained it to him. He’s like, oh, well, I’ll just summon one of these ladies over to help you. Right, yeah, the experts. I’m like, oh, okay. I’ll just sashay my way back over there, you know. I go there and I’m hanging out looking all cool. You know, you sashay is very funny. Yeah. I’m walking like some geisha, you know, it’s like, yeah. Yeah. If you’ve ever seen the old Warner brothers cartoons, the guy, the big guy kind of dancing around Ferdinand, the bull. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, Uh, so I wasn’t there too long. Right. And just out of nowhere, this lady like is be lining over there. Like literally, literally, I didn’t even say anything. Right. This is her. I’ll like, this is her coming in and she’s like, yeah. Okay. Well, what I got called over here. What do you need? Yeah. I’m like, I’m thinking this isn’t, you know, it’s Christy or Susie, I don’t think. And I say this to everyone. This is not a sexist remark. I go, what do you know about plumbing? Which I think she really took the wrong way because that kind of amplified. You ever hear the term fuck around and find out? Yeah, that’s a different. This is what happened. She watched you sashay across the store. She’s like, oh, all right. We got a jackass right here. Some sexist jackass, you know, sashaying around. Well, I’m here. I got him here for your question. Where’s your important question at? Where is it at? Come on. You don’t even know what you need. I was a little intimidated by this woman. I’m going to be honest. It looked like she was in her early 30s. Okay. And she was not having it with me at all. She probably had a tough day with a bunch of jackasses like you. Sashaying around. Sashaying around the plumbing department asking stupid-ass questions. I told my wife, I go, either she was getting ready to eat lunch or she’s trying to take a crap or something and got coming over to help me. Right? Yeah. And oh my God. Yeah. I don’t know what I interrupted, but I really regretted the whole, I’m like, you know, uh, I’m not, yeah, I don’t want to come back here anymore. I’m like, I didn’t think I’m going to get bullied, bullied three knuckles deep in a DeWalt sander. Yeah, no shit. So, uh, I finally would, you know, get out what I wanted to tell her. Like, excuse me. I know. I know. It’s like a bad Woody Allen film. You’re going to have to take it apart and you have to bring it in and I got to see it because as you can see over here, there’s 800 types of these things. Literally, literally, literally. Do you know how to turn off your water, young man? I said, hey, do I need to turn off the water with this? Yes, you do. He goes, yeah. I was like trying so hard to defuse it. I’m like, okay, how do I get out of this? Let’s stop for just a moment. Why in the world were you trying to fix your shower yourself? This is not a Miles job. I don’t know. Well, We had an alcoholic try to fix it like five years ago, and apparently whatever he did did not hold. It did not hold, unfortunately. It held for five years. I think that’s pretty good, considering. Yeah. I was just like, man. I thought it was a put-on. I thought maybe my dryer story last week inspired you to actually take on and fix something yourself. I couldn’t remember how the drone guy fixed it. I’m like, shit, what did he do again? I think he stuck his finger somewhere, but I don’t remember. I don’t remember he stuck his finger. I thought it was a put-on, all right? I mean, her whole rant, I thought, okay, I was waiting for her to be like, just kidding. No. Well, typically… They go by manufacturer. So if you have a Delta, do you have a Price Fister? I don’t know. What kind of hardware do you have there? I have no idea. I don’t know. Because my guess is it’s leaking out of the handle itself, potentially. Is that right? Yeah. You’ve got a little washers in there that are loose and not working. I know. Yeah. After a while, she kind of settled down a little bit. She’s like, okay, well, listen, okay, you want to undo it? Whenever she realized you were special needs. Yeah. She’s like, wow, maybe I came on a little too strong. You’re like, I’m in a hurry. I got to catch the bus. Yeah. She probably felt bad. Like, wow, wow, I was an asshole. Jesus. Wow. Talk about not giving an F. I mean, just not, not given an F about anything. I’m like, wow. You know, you don’t, you don’t see people work like that. So I’m trying to defuse it. I go, Hey, I’m friends with big Dave over here. You mean David? Uh, okay. I call him Dave big day. Oh no. He goes by David. All right. Well, listen, I got to go. I should know. We’ve had sex. Yeah. Yeah. And let’s recall each other in the morning. And breakfast. I think I’ve never I’m never going back to this place again. Never. Never. Even to see Big Dave. Yeah. No, I don’t know. You know, when you get bullied in school, at least, you know, like some dude hits you in the back of the head and laughs and runs away. You know, this lady’s just totally, you know, Eviscerating me. Yeah, what do you want? My name’s Bob Lament. I got a leaky faucet in the shower. I don’t think women know anything about plumbing. Oh, yeah. I know I was joking around with her. Yeah, I think I was joking around. You kind of got that Cliff Clavin attitude sometimes. Hey, Nammy. Yeah. Yeah. What do you know about plumbing there, Mary Sue? Yeah. So I’m like, I’m out of here. I’m out of here. You didn’t get it fixed. It’s still leaking. Yeah. So it’s still leaking. It’s not all water. Some of it’s my tears. I hate being bullied by women at like a big box store. God damn it. Jesus. Women get down on men, but, man, you can turn that around real easy. Oh, that’s right. I’m telling you, man. Thank you. You’ve got to be a man like Bob LeMet. Like, I have a gold problem. Number one, be prepared. Don’t just run over there and hope for the best. You know, take a picture. You know? You know, I’m just going to YouTube it and just. you know i’m gonna have amazon send the shit i need yeah that’s what i do i’m done i’m just i’m done i’m done the only problem with plumbing is you know the water doesn’t stop yeah that’s the hard part about yeah plumbing to me is the worst kind of fix Well, I have no background in any of this, so… Well, I’m just saying because this water will not quit, right? You can turn the water off and what have you, but… Well, hey, you wanted to come up and visit, so really two birds, one stone. Fixing your effing shower? Yeah, come on up, man. Yeah, you can have like a tortilla or something, man. Here goes one tortilla for you. There you go. So, yeah. So, me getting bullied again. Again. Now… I sweated pipe before, which is tough. I didn’t like that too much. But my good friend Mark, God rest his soul, he was really good at all that kind of stuff. So I probably would have called him. He got any family members that know anything about plumbing? Maybe they can come over. Oh, yeah. All of them do. He’s like a family of contractors. Listen, I act like I’m your cousin or something. Hey, man. I’m Bob’s cousin, man. Maybe you guys want to come over here. Yeah. No, they probably won’t do that. Probably not. So now what are you going to do? How are you going to solve this problem, my friend? You got a drippy faucet going on there. I’m YouTubing it. i’m youtubing it, that’s it. I know, but, oh, okay. This happened today, right? So this, you just got humiliated today, right? Yeah, oh yeah, I’m not kidding. Within a couple hours of me writing that, oh, I got a story, you’re like, oh, great, great. You know, I’m drying my tears as i’m writing this i’m an idiot. I’m an idiot This preteen girl showed me up about plumbing at the big box store. I’m going to start cutting myself again. Well, I can see where if I were to witness this and didn’t know you from a slight distance at the big box store, I’d be like, yeah, that guy’s a total douchebag. Plumbing there, Mary Sue. I always say that to people, though. What do you know about putting in windows? What do you know about putting on a roof? What do you know about fixing a car? I always do that as a joke. Well, it didn’t work this time. No, it was a swing and a miss. It was a complete… She was already upset. She had to help me out. Well, she didn’t want to come to the booth, I don’t think. I think she probably was… Had been some hot… Peace, like you, she’d probably be like, oh, okay. You know, me, you know. Hey, young lady, I’ve got this Price Fister shower knob thing that’s leaking. Aren’t you Bob Lament from the NASCAR? Here’s a picture of it. Oh, there’s a punkiest guy in St. Louis. Yeah, exactly. I was named Mr. Arch. Thank you. I bet. I bet. I bet. Mr. Arch. So, well, I think you’ve learned your lesson. Yeah. No more fuck around and find out. It’s going to happen. What’s next time when you go, well, I guess this thing’s going to leak again for another five years until you get the drunk guy to show up again. No, that’s, yeah, that guy’s out of the picture. He died of cirrhosis. Oh, he died, okay. No, I don’t know. No. I’m kidding. He didn’t die on the road. I got to find another drunk plumber to come fix my stuff. I didn’t hire him, okay? I didn’t hire him. Oh, okay. He had such good ratings on the Facebook. Yeah, okay. We’ll go with that. I’m just waiting until Big Dave gets back from vacation where the fuck he’s at. Son of a bitch. That’s terrible. He’s got the nerve. He’s got the goddamn nerve. I’m sorry. Well, you know. Yeah, I don’t know. Whenever you’re a sexist asshole at the big box. I guess. I guess. I was joking. Joking. But you need to have a shirt, you know. Yeah. Aside from your $5 footlong shirt, you need to have a shirt. I’m just joking. Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe. What do you know about… Fat old white man at the big box store. I say it to even medical people. I go, this is not your first day, right? I mean, you’ve done this before. Oh, sir, you’re so funny. Doctor, doctor, this is not your first day. I have graduated. I did go through medical school and do two years residency. Yeah. You are an ass. You’re even an ass to the healthcare people. I like to test the waters. I like to go right to that edge sometimes. No wonder Dr. Mike hates you. I know. He’s like, you’re stupid. God, I hate you. Dr. Mark, by the way. Oh, Dr. Mark. I can’t keep him straight. You’ve got like a whole medical team there. Yeah. They’re like, ah. We got to keep this sucker alive, man. He keeps giving us cash. Dr. Mike, Dr. Mark. Well, I think you’ve learned your lesson, young man. And talk, make, you know, funny comments about the nice young ladies. Well, I don’t know if she was nice, but. The individual who shacks up with this woman, I tell you what, holy Christ, man. Did you ask her about that as well? No, come on. I don’t know where you’re going with these things. I mean, who knows what you say out in public. I can’t win. I really can’t win. I get no respect. Hey, we got Mike and Steve here. You guys got Any plumbing stories where you offend the plumbing ladies at all or anything? You want to tell? No, I don’t have any plumbing stories. I guess would that be in regards of possible irritable bowel syndrome or something? Well, Miles has got you beat on that one. I don’t know. Well, I’m not Miles for one. I don’t require going to the bathroom that much. often that would require my plumbing to be worked on. I’m sure he has all the… I don’t know what that means. I’m not sure what that… Michael, I’m sure there’s a lot of… Miles’ nickname is Scope. I don’t know if that means anything. Okay, well, you better not be scoping out my toilets over here. I am a toi

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  Episode #36

  Rug Burn

  Sep 1, 202638 minS27

  Bob fixes the dryer, really, while Miles gives his work neighbor a Rorschach test. GAMES , like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/AM-WcL92ULc Bob fixes the dryer, really, while Miles gives his work neighbor a Rorschach test. Rug Burn Bad AI Transcript [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/31/rug-burn/” title=”Rug Burn” link=”hhttps://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/31/rug-burn/”

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  Episode #35

  Ageism

  Aug 25, 202631 minS27

  Miles gets a back rub for his sore arm at the chiropractor’s while Bob can’t believe how old everyone looks. GAMES , like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/6IeXljXyIu4 Bob gets his stupidity outed on speakerphone while Miles singing gets him in more trouble than he expected. Ageism Bad AI Transcript Nobody knows where things are going to happen. You’ll never find a love quite like mine. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Let’s start a game. No truer words have ever been sung. Oh, my Lord. You’re going to miss my love. Yeah. You’re going to miss? You’re going to miss? Maybe not miss, but you’ll never find. It’s definitely your song. You’ll never find. It’s like it was made for you. It’s like you’re my way, if you were singing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So are you walking around singing any more songs in the house? Yeah. I’m going to sing all I want. I’m going to sing all I want. I’m going to sing my last week. I thought maybe you’d cut it out. No, we got over it. Oh, good. Oh, good. That’s so good to hear. Yeah. It’s tough when you guys are in turmoil over there in the title household. Yeah, I know. I don’t like to fight over rock and roll. Tough on us. Innocence here, you know, I mean, let’s have a, fight about, you know, infidelity or finances or something else, but not Rolling Stones, okay? Please don’t. Please don’t fight with Rolling Stones. That’s what I say. I think your infidelity fight would be a bit one-sided. Yeah. Unless you included self-love. Um… Are you referring to gooning? Well, I think you mentioned that we were going to talk about this. Gooning, yeah. No, I’m not going to talk about gooning. Oh, okay. You know, there’s a cartoon character, the goon. Yeah. In Popeye. Popeye cartoon. And? In the Jeep, yeah. And in college, there was this gentleman who had like some physical things going on, I guess. And my friends of Chicago, which i will not name, but they would yell out the window, hey, goon. Was this in chicago or was this uh this would be at a certain college, not Carbondale, though. Oh, okay, gotcha, I gotcha. And DeKalb, Illinois. Yeah, northern. Like northern Illinois area. Illinois, yeah. This poor guy. DeKalb went there, you know, so. Yeah. Can’t be all bad, I suppose. I guess. I don’t know. He was never in any of my classes. I don’t know. Yeah. I’m sure you would have written it down had she been in your little notebook. Make up your mind. Miles was telling me about his masturbation notebook today before we started the show. You know, all I did before the show was I mentioned, I know Bob had worked some places and done some stuff, and I just had asked him a few questions. He got very uncomfortable about it. And so, because now I’m not allowed to mention that either to people. Oh, no, come on. I’m just like, out of the blue, you asked me these questions. I’m like… Do you sit around all day thinking of these things? Is this what you do with your time? It’s like, really? All day long, I sit around. Things come to mind. God forbid you learn how to use artificial intelligence. I don’t need it. The kind of weird crap you’d be pulling out of there. I just drive around and think of funny stuff. Okay. Gosh. I don’t know. I’m trying to think if i got a story tonight. Do you have a story? Yeah. Oh, well then let’s go with your story. Let’s talk about who’s in those, uh, in your mola skinny with your rubber bands around it. You know, and there’s a, you know, Indiana Jones and, uh, the third one, which i’m blanking on the name of now, uh, The book of the Holy Grail that Indiana Jones’ father has, you have something like that, I think. Oh, I see. I see. The Last Crusade? Yeah, The Last Crusade, that was it. I’m blanking out the name. Well, I didn’t want to say anything that had anything to do with the Lord in reference to what you’re talking about. Yeah. What’s your story, son? Let’s hear it. You know, and I don’t, you know, I don’t really like these cartoons you’re making of me. What? Because they hit too close. Everybody loves them. No, this one is hitting way too close to home. There was one about me having a bad back. Oh, that was a good one. And that hit way too, because I have had some back issues. Yeah. And I actually injured my arm also the night of my birthday, the day I almost died. Right, yeah. I was playing air hockey and I injured myself, but I didn’t really… I know. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t hurt you. I injured myself, seriously. I fucked up my arm playing air hockey that night. I’m like, this guy’s decrepit. It’s like going to the Crypt Keeper’s birthday, for Christ’s sake. I know. And… As time went on, I was just having more increasingly painful arm pain. Which arm is this? Is this your… This is Monique. Right or left? Right. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. And just, you know, turn it around your left, but turn it a certain way. You’ll be like, oh, yeah, but… How about your hand? How’s your grip? My grip is great. Okay. Just checking. But anywho, so, you know, I said to my doctor, like, can I just get, you know, looked at? He’s like, well, I don’t know. What am I? Am I here to serve you? What am I? It’s to pull the muscle or you’re having a heart attack. I’m not sure. He’s like, with everything you’ve got going on, this is the least you’re aware of. You should just forget about this. Let’s concentrate on the big things. Yeah, you’re fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m like, okay. Yeah. You’ve got insurance. Don’t worry about it. You’re fine. Come back next week. And so I said, screw it. There’s this new multiplex chiropractor thing not too far away. Oh, my God. You with the chiropractors. Oh, my good Lord. And it’s got a big staff. I’m like, oh, wow. It’s like a big place. Chiropractors are us. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. And so they’re like, oh, we can get you in right away. We can wrench your arm for you. You don’t have to do it yourself anymore. We’ll do it for you. We’ll do it for you, bud. Come on. And so I get in there, you know. Do you do any x-rays? No, no. And the receptionist is like, very nice. Hi, I’m Julie. And fill out these papers. What’s your problem today, Mr. Title? I bet. Another one of those people. So, yeah, I fill it out. Get done. And so I meet the guy. I got this guy. Hey, Miles, I’m Steve. Come on in. Dr. Crackers. He looked like a wrestler or something. Like a high school wrestler. Dr. Crackers. He had no neck. What is this guy? No neck to all arms. I’ll be your chiropractor today. He goes, all right, come on. Is he like Macho Man? Oh, yeah. We’re going to crack some back. He goes, I’m going to use AI to record you. What? I’m not going to make any notes. I’m going to use AI. Subject seems to be 75% to 85% flab. No muscle tone. I’m talking to this guy. Degenerative bone disease. No cartilage. I’m thinking I think me and this guy are probably about the same age, but he’s definitely older than me. Looking at like the giant bags under his eyes and stuff. I go, he’s definitely like older than you even, you know, he’s got giant bags under his eyes. Yeah. Like he’s packed his bags ready to go. Right. So anyway, why have bags under my, I don’t think so. No, you don’t. You’re you’ve been blessed. Thank you. With, uh, sexy hair and no bags under your eyes. Oh, well that’s, I am such a, you’ve got sexy hair, like Leanne. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, anyway, he tells me his age. No, this guy is like almost like four years younger than me. I’m like, oh, wow. Oh, the chiropractor though yeah this wrestler it’s a rusty character he looks like he could have been like maybe at one time, you know, I’m just saying. Yeah. Well, you’re like, like a regular high school type wrestler, not like a professional wrestler. Maybe. I don’t know. He said he was like a traffic field or something i traveled you know? Okay. Now this is where it gets juicy. So I was like, well, lay down. We’re going to, you know, look at stuff or do stuff like that. Okay. All right. Why do you, how can I, why do you like all these people touching you? Is this a thing? Oh, you would have lost your shit, man. Okay. At first, you know, I’m getting kind of the pat on the arm. Like, Hey bud, listen, I’m going to get you going again. Yeah. Hey buddy, you’re going to get going. Now the rubbing starts, you know, buddy. Okay. You’re going to get going. Okay. And let me, Hey, let’s look at that back, okay? Oh, yeah, you’re tight. Let me rub that. Let me rub it. I’m getting like a rubdown now. I’m like, is this like a service? I’m like, is this extra? Did I go in the wrong place or something? I mean… Is this across the hidden hallway that… Yeah. I wish I would have had this much action in high school. Where’s the AI come into this situation? This guy is like an OnlyFans going on or something. I don’t know what it was like. Hey, you want some pictures of my feet? Yeah, you like that? You like it, Miles? Well, I guess. You like girls? Yeah. This guy’s giving you a rub down. He’s fine. He’s He’s combing your hairy back. Yeah, I don’t think he’s realizing how much he’s doing this. He’s patting my arm, patting my back. If he touches my V-hole or something, I’m out of here. I’m out of here. I’m the hell out of here. I don’t think in chiropractic school, I don’t think there’s a V-hole. There you go. it might’ve been Larry Nassar, you know, I don’t know. Today students, you graduated to the B hole. I was just, I, you know, I, I am, I, okay. Self-admitted. I am a little homophobic. Okay. I’m just going to say it right now. I’m a little bit, I’m a little bit, I know. I know it’s not contagious. Okay. Just, no, I don’t know. I just, I said, okay, well, If Bob Lament was here, he would not return. I know it. Number one, I wouldn’t be there. You’re a man. I wouldn’t be at the chiropractor. You’re a man. I know you’re a man. I’ve seen you. You’re a man. I don’t know what this means. You would not let another man touch you like this. You’d be like, no, I’m out. You’d fake something like, I left my car running. I have to go. I don’t go to chiropractors. I’m not A big fan, I’ll put it that way. You know, well, okay, so that’s the first trip, right? Oh, you went more than once. Did you get like a punch card? Yeah, he goes, I want to see you in about three days. Three days? And he goes, where’s something cute? I’m like, what? He goes, here’s a script. Yeah. No, so I come back. I’m like, well, I guess I’ll go back. You go back in three… I’m glad people don’t know where you live because they’d be taking full advantage of you all the time. I know. They know my weakness. I guess if you want to rub the back of my legs next time. I don’t really swing that way, but man, a rub down is a rub down. It’s better when the cat rubs on my head. No peanut butter involved. The second time now, it’s like, lift up your sleeve. I’m going to put some lotion on you. I’m like, hmm? A special lotion. It’s Hempvana. There’s THC in it. Here, drink this. Make you feel good, yeah. Here, eat a couple of these mushrooms. You might black out when you drink this, but go ahead, Jake. Yeah, don’t worry about it, son. I call it the cause. Just take it, man. This is the most comfortable table they have in the whole building. Don’t worry, take off your shoes, Miles. What? So he rubs lotion on your arm. Like Mr. Miyagi, yeah. Is there going to be something on the news about this? i’m sure it’s all legitimate. I’m sure and then he gets my lower back goes hey you know what i gotta do your lower back. You know that i’m like everything about like trellis’s son? He goes, come here. Come on. Roll over, big boy. Come on. You can do it now what what’s all this got to do with your arm? uh It is feeling better i will i will give him that. I mean, uh Say what you will, but the man is the best. Just like roll you over and start rubbing your back. And he’s like telling you, you’re a good boy. You’re good. Like a dog. He starts rubbing my belly. My legs start kicking like a dog. He’s giving you all this pep talk. I know you can do it. You’ve always been able to do it. I know it’s been rough and you’re feeling down. Miles, I’m sure you’re going to be dead in five years, but besides that, you’re doing great. Besides, yeah. Can you show me that list of prescriptions you’re taking again? Don’t worry about that. Throw that all away. Once I get done pushing on this knot in your back, you’re going to be feeling fit as a fiddle, son. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. You ever thought about, uh, joining any clubs? Yeah. I feel like I’m in one right now. So, uh, are you going back in three days? Uh, yeah, I’m going back tomorrow. Oh my God. We’ll see how it goes. Have they done anything for your arm? Yeah, no, he has. Other than the lotion. Yeah. He’s padded it and rubbed it down. So has he diagnosed anything and said, oh, it’s a muscle thing? Yeah, no, he’s diagnosed it, yeah. Well, what’s the diagnosis? Extreme gooning. Oh, God, I forgot part of the story. Shit. What? When I came in the second time, he was like there waiting for me. I walked in. He’s like right at the door. Oh, my favorite client. How are you looking today, son? He’s like lurch. And so I start heading that way. He goes, don’t you have? I think you look slimmer. This is helping. No, no, no. Come on. You can only bullshit people so much. No, come on. The cream I put on you was a little bit of… I guess I’m a little cute. Um, no, it’s GLP one. It’s an ointment on your arm. That arm is definitely not as fat as it was last time you were here three days ago. This isn’t exactly legal in this state. So let’s keep this on the down low. Don’t tell on me. So I hear a little secret. Yeah. So I go like, I’m walking back down the hallway. He’s like, wait a minute. I stopped my tracks. He goes, don’t you have something to say to Julie here? Uh, yeah three days i’m like uh good morning? He’s like, oh, good morning. He goes, okay, we can go. I’m like, what the fuck was this about? What? I have no idea what that was about. I’m like, it was so weird. The whole thing was so weird. I’m like, Are you sure this isn’t like some kind of charm school that you’ve accidentally got into that has messages? I don’t know. I have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into at this point. Well, it’s a little cultish here all of a sudden. I could see Bob Lament going for half a visit, and that would be the end of it. I would just never even show up. Yeah, you’re a man. You couldn’t even give me a gift certificate, and I wouldn’t even use it. Listen, happy ending guaranteed. Yeah, you’ll be happy, all right. You’re just not sure who’s going to do it. So the arm’s better, though, you’re saying? It is getting better, yes. And how’s your self-esteem? Self-esteem doing good? It is, yeah, it is. Okay. How many more visits have you got lined up already? 50. Yeah, I would… No, I’m just kidding. This guy’s like, this… This dude’s like half my salary this month. Can I call you brown eyes? Oh, my God. Yes, if you want, but I don’t know. I hope in the interim you don’t die because you go to these clacks. You ever hear a candling? Come here. Oh, God, yeah, the candling. We’re going to candle. Interestingly enough, you’re telling your story reminds me of something. I went to the actual doctor mm-hmm because they they called this is their scam. They called me up and they’re like, Hey, you gotta get your blood work done. Or what? No, like every once a year, once every once in a while, you get blood work to make sure that you’re, you know, all your stuff’s you’re doing well. Yeah. And I’m like, I’m like, Well, I’ve been trying. I have avoided the doctor most of my life. Oh, I should say most of my adult life. When I was young, I was a sick kid. I was at the doctor a lot. And I was in the hospital quite a bit when I was really young. So since then, I don’t want anything to do with any of these people. Now that I’m getting a little bit older, I’m like, okay, maybe I better kind of pay attention, you know. I’ve got to be like Miles and man it up and get in here. Well, no, I think it more has to do with my wife, to be honest with you. Yeah. So I’m like, okay. And so then what you have to do is you have to go in. You got to see… I think I saw the nurse practitioner because the doctor’s too busy for me. So you get your blood drawn and then they do a whole thing, right? So I get there. I like… I like to be I’m like, they’re like, when can you make you know, when do you want to make your appointment? I’m like, what time do you open? And then they’ll tell me, like, 8 o’clock. You got 8 o’clock? That’s when I’m coming. No. No, they always do. They always put me on at 8 o’clock. Because I’m first one there, right? Going to get this shit done, basically, and get through it. So the weird thing is I get there, and then there’s all these other people there. 8 o’clockers. 8 o’clockers, right. And so, and they haven’t actually even opened yet. They opened the front door to let you into the waiting area, but they haven’t opened up the, uh, you know, the cash drawer where they have the little thing that slide week. We open up at eight weeks. Yeah. So I’m waiting and, and then the lady, you know, uh, opens up the, uh, you know, where you check in and everything. So another guy go up to the window. At the same time, because there’s, you know, there’s just a few of us, two windows, no waiting. And so I’m talking to my person and he’s talking to his person, you know, we both have appointments at eight o’clock and everything. And, you know, they always double check with your birthday. Birthday, sir. Yeah. What’s your birthday, right? So you tell him your birthday and I tell him my birthday. And then the other guy tells his birthday. and I, I mean, I don’t hope you didn’t notice, but i did like the biggest head swivel. Because this guy was younger than me. Yeah. And he looked a lot older than me. Yeah. I could not believe it. I was like holy effin moly. I can’t believe. It’s like i’m standing next to one of my dad’s, you know, friends or something. Yeah. And then he’s like two years younger than me. Some people don’t age well. And I was, he’s like, well, young lady You know, and I was just like, holy, what the hell, right? And then I thought, you know,

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  Episode #34

  Gears Grinding

  Aug 18, 202630 minS27

  Bob gets his stupidity outed on speakerphone while Miles singing gets him in more trouble than he expected. GAMES , like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/z9aVX4krunU Bob gets his stupidity outed on speakerphone while Miles singing gets him in more trouble than he expected. Gears Grinding Bad AI Transcript Hello. I don’t have enough TP. at war with racism, terrorism, and most importantly also this is miles by the critical wow listen that that’s right miles title the rap preacher. We don’t rap. We don’t think. Yeah. What was that from? Can you tell me the uh folks i was singing a little kanye for you. Oh, okay. I’m not familiar. The kids love Kanye, so I was trying to fit into our audience. Easy, huh? Yeah. Well, that’s nice. Next week, I’ll be singing something Flat Town Philly or Motown Philly. What is that called? The Sugar Hill Gang? Is it Motown Philly? Metamuso. Metamuso. I’m a little out of touch. I’m a little out of touch. I’m a little out of touch. I gotta poop. I gotta poop. Abolition rappers. Well, you always keep up on the trends. That’s for certain. I’m up on the trends, man. I’m trending. I’m trending like Brandon. That’s right. Oh, my goodness. Between that and you trying to speak Spanish, I don’t know where in the world you get these thoughts in your head that this is what you should be doing. I don’t know. I spoke Spanish yesterday at the cell phone store. What did you say in Spanish? I thought it was funny because there was a Spanish family behind me. And I was trying to go out the wrong door. And they’re like, sir, wrong door. I’m like, well, that’s a bunch of Toro caca. That’s not Spanish. I left. I didn’t even turn around. I left. So you said bullshit. And that, I mean, Toro, yes, is Spanish. Is caca Spanish? Yeah. Oh, I didn’t realize. So I conjugated it or something. I don’t think you, like you didn’t say a whole sentence. You said English to the point of Toro Caca. So it’s a bunch of Toro Caca, man. I left. You figure it out. Okay. Did they laugh or no? You don’t know. Silence. Crickets. Well, the guy did have his family there. So I guess really it was a little inappropriate. Yeah. There was children. There was a cell phone children’s party going on at the moment. Yeah, pretty much. Hey, F you muchachos. That’s something you never see, you know, the cell phone store children’s party where they go there for their birthday. I want to go to the cell phone store. Yeah, it was weird. I don’t know. There used to be like a a dozen people that used to work there to help people. And then there was like two. I’m like, what the fuck? Everyone just get fired. People don’t need help anymore. No, there’s plenty of old farts like me. Yeah. They’re like, sir, sir, we don’t have flip phones anymore, sir. No Motorola flip phone. Your text told me I need a SIM card and I don’t even know what that is. Yeah. She goes, hold on. Give me your phone. I’m no simp. She goes, give me your phone. I’m like, do not check browser history. She goes, I won’t, weirdo. Don’t look at my cash. Yeah, you don’t want to know, man. You don’t want to know what I’ve been looking at. Oh, cheerleader, cheerleader, swimsuit, cheerleader. Yeah, I was going to say beaver shaving. Upskirting. Oh, my God. Yeah, so my static radio is here. Can you say that in Spanish? La música, la música. Radio. I don’t know. You figure it out. Oh, my goodness. Wow. I… I didn’t do anything this week, so I was… I hope you have a story. I’ll try to come up with something. You’re always off to New Zealand or Fiji or something. I’m a little disappointed. Yeah, well, you know, you can’t… No, I’ve been traveling a lifetime. I know. Five vacations last summer really set you back. You’re like, fuck. I will be going on a short trip soon. I want to… Oh, who gives a fuck? Okay, so… Anyway… so yeah columbia today you want to hear about that i mean if i have to, I will. No, go ahead you you started go ahead let’s not that my story is any funny. It’s not gonna be funny, but oh well let’s go ahead uh your story you’ll kill this week, and i will suck, so here it goes so uh yeah thanks a lot. You’re a freaking jerk, you know that? Me? Yeah, you. You’re a freaking jerk. You are a freaking jerk. Thanks a lot For ruining my life, for ruining my marriage. Thank you. I don’t think you can blame me for ruining your marriage. Yes, yes. I want to thank you personally. I don’t take any part in your marriage. For almost driving me to divorce court. Thank you, Bob Lament. Thank you. I mean, I’m still holding secrets, so it can’t be me. So, you know, before we record, we… talk for a little while. Yeah. And, uh, you often sing a lot, which okay encourages me to sing a lot. Okay. Which I do enjoy singing, but I, like you, I can’t really carry you this is a lot. This is a lifelong thing. You and i used to, we were in college together. Yes. And we used to walk around singing. We would sing, I mean, not show tunes or anything, but we’d sing whatever song was happening. Holding hands. Yeah, holding hands. Whistling. Yeah. Hey, let’s just do Annie. Yeah. The sun will come out tomorrow. Yesterday was playing awful. You used to sing constantly walking around campus. Yeah, well, you got me in a singing mood, you know. So I occasionally, on my own, sing. I’ll just pick some random song and sing, right? Yeah, you get stuck in your head. So what possibly could derail my life, right? Right. So I’m outside with my dogs, and I’m coming in, and I just randomly pick a song, and I start singing Rolling Stones’ I Used to Love Her, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I used to love her. Yeah. But it’s all over now. So I come in. I’m saying my wife is making some kind of nonsensical dessert. She’s like… Does she experiment with desserts all the time? Yeah. She’s like the mom from Better Off Dead. And I get flashed a look. It’s called swan. Free leach’s cake. And she shoots me, like, the dirtiest look. Like, what? She goes, what the fuck is that song? I’m like, what? I wasn’t singing about you. I wasn’t. Why would I sing about you? It popped in my head. Why would I? Wait a minute. Stop right there. This is why you’re having marriage trouble. Why would I ever sing about you, honey? Why? You don’t inspire me in the least. I sing the same song to my wife every time I see her. My whole life is like living in an old folks home. I’m just here. When I see my wife, I sing the same song all the time. What’s that? No, it’s not that Earl. Shut up with that stupid. Rawhide? No. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. This is a total recovery song here. This is totally trying to recover. Unfortunately, I saw your face. Why do birds suddenly appear? I got a brand new pair of roller skates. You got a brand new key. Okay. I’m going off to the country. I made the huge mistake of singing a Rolling Stones song. Then why can’t I paint you? And, um, I get shot. You were singing, uh, What? Queen? Bat Bottom Girls? What were you singing again? It probably would have went over better. It probably would have. Next thing I know. What the hell are you singing? And why are you singing it? I go, it’s the Rolling Stones. It was a hit back in a long time ago. Before I was born? Yeah, well, probably. I’m like, It’s just a song I randomly picked out of my head. I mean, now she’s all mad. Well, I just don’t understand why a grown man would pick a horrible song like that to say it’s horrible. All right. So I’m like, okay, what about this one? She’s so cold. Oh, she’s so cold. Like an ice cream cone. Don’t ever get into the Nielsen catalog. Everybody’s talking. She was not happy with She’s So Cold either. That’s supposed to be better? Undercover of the night. Undercover. I shouldn’t have broke into that or just waiting on a friend or something. I made the mistake of going too far back. I see a picture. Yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t know this song was so off-limits in my wife’s world of insanity. I’m like, what the fuck? Now, I’m going to have to come up with a list and have it okayed with approved songs, apparently. Alexa, please run my list through my wife’s approved list of songs for me to sing? Oh, Christ. It’s all me. Taylor Swift. I know it. Christ. So what happened next? So then I broke into shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it. I quit singing. First of all, I stopped singing. I haven’t sang since. Oh, and I was trying to blame you for the whole thing. Like, you know, He’s got to let it out. He’s constantly singing like some kind of mental patient. And he’s got me doing it, and I randomly just picked a song, not directed at anyone in particular. Let’s rewind a little bit. Like the day before, you know I always sing my feelings, don’t you, honey? Yeah. I mean, I could understand maybe… If it was like, you know, I’m turning Japanese, I could get that. I thought maybe when you walk outside, start singing Kung Fu Fighting or something. I used to love her, but I have to keep her. When the dogs can find her, I got time. Well, at least you won. delving into nine inch nails. Yeah, that’s true i hurt myself today. Another one, but anyway, the, uh, so thanks a lot, Bob, for ruining my life i i don’t think I, this is. Yeah. Yeah. He can’t even talk. He’s all like… It’s been more than 30 years. If this is going to happen now, it’s not my fault. This has never happened before. I don’t know… What? What song have I ever sang that got you so upset? He’s not singing Bongwater. That would be the song, The Power of Pussy, I believe is what you’re referring to. No, yeah, I would not sing that to my wife or any family member. Thank you. Walking in the door. Hey, Mom. Yeah, thanks a lot, man. God damn it. When I’m a-walking, I strut my stuff. My stuff’s strung out. She’d probably be okay with that one. She’d probably be okay with that one. Let me go on. Well, thank God he’s not singing The Cure. Just be glad he’s not singing that. Nah, she’d be okay with that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know there was a disapproved list. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know now, but I didn’t know then. She runs for the hills when you walk in. You go, hanging around downtown. I didn’t know there was taboo songs, apparently. Well, maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe she’s feeling guilty because something else is happening. I don’t know. I didn’t sing the Lemon song by Led Zeppelin, I guess. Are you swearing off singing now? I guess not. I noticed I didn’t sing prior to the show tonight. Did you notice that? A little bit, I guess. I just wasn’t paying attention. I was just singing on my own, I guess. That’s right. Did you figure that out? No, I didn’t. i don’t know so i didn’t pay i wasn’t even know i have to come up with a short list of songs i’m not allowed to sing apparently yeah oh hole can you sing whole my doll hands. I don’t know you get misconstrued, I think. Or you just gotta sing, you know, the, the ones where you’re desiring somebody at a distance or something. Brown sugar. Oh, what was that? What was she making the dessert? There you go. Yeah. Whatever that was. You need to figure out what she’s doing and then pick a song that, you know, exemplifies whatever she’s doing. There’s that time. So, yeah. The lunatic. is in the hall. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Watch out. Oh my. Well, I didn’t realize. I don’t think i’m going to accept any of this blame. Thank you very much. Yeah. Well, you can do whatever you want. I think. the whole you were singing before we even knew each other. I think i you probably saw you singing. Not as much before we actually, you know, hung out together or anything. Uh, I was, yeah, probably more top 40 stuff though. You know, I probably didn’t. Yeah. Jesse is a friend. I’ve been singing that for the last two days. But instead, I’ve used my friend’s name, Geoffrey. Geoffrey is a friend. I know he’s been a good friend of mine. I know he’s holding her with his rotund body. And he’s got his greasy fingers. I just know it. I just know it. Oh, my goodness. Well, I’m sorry that this has caused you so much pain this week. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks a lot. I’m sure there’s other things you can blame on me if you really tried. Blame it on the rain. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I’m trying to think if I even have anything this week. It was so boring. This week was so boring. Yeah. incredibly boring this week. I know, right? It was freaking rain. Nobody did anything. No one got in a car accident? No car accidents this week. Thank goodness. Yeah. I’m trying to think if there’s anything even remotely funny. this week that happened to me. I don’t think so. I tried to avoid everybody that was, you know, that was my goal. Yeah. So I, I, you know, I avoided most people this week. I’ll put it that way this last week. So this weekend I avoided a lot of people as well. So I was very successful in avoiding and avoiding avoidance. Yeah. And my avoidance. So yeah. Yeah. Not much to report. I did get, speaking of, you know, wives being mad at you, I had to run and do a thing today where I had to drive for a few hours. And my wife calls me this afternoon, like early this afternoon. Are you singing? Yeah, are you singing? You better not be goddamn singing. I you’re singing hot for teacher. I’m going to be mad. What the hell does that mean? So, uh, no, but, uh, you know, we recently had some trees cut down, which is just so goddamn expensive. I don’t know, man. It’s just crazy. Yeah, I know. That’s all your feet here. So, you know, no Fiji for you this year. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, she calls me and she’s like, Hey, You paid the three guys? And I’m like, yeah. She’s grilling me. I’m trying to drive home. Grilling me. How did you do it? Yeah. I paid the three guys. Gave them a check. Who did you pay? What was his name? I don’t know. Stumpgrinder guy. I don’t have a name. It’s called Stumpgrinder. My name’s Stumpy. Yeah, just a stump grinder, guys. So little did I know that somebody from the tree guy place was there. On speakerphone with your wife. That was on speakerphone. Yeah, you’re like, the madman first kissed my nuts. No, thankfully I didn’t say that. I was like, I don’t know, the stump grinding guy. Anyway. No, what happened was they clocked my fence. Uh, in doing their job. And so they actually were very nice and came out and fixed it today. Um, but, uh, they had like, um, I don’t know, like a bobcat with a gripper, like a big claw on it that they’d pick up these big logs and take, put them in the, in their truck. Yeah. Anyway, he clocked my, uh, fence and invent a pole. And, uh, anyway, they came and fixed it today, but then he this is like the main guy or something. I guess I gave it to a sub guy and he hadn’t seen the check yet. He was going to pick it up because he didn’t think that we paid him yet. So, uh, no, I paid to the, uh, I’ll suggest your husband pays. I know that I was in speakerphone and it’s just like me. He’s my wife’s like, see, he paid it to the stump grinder guy. And I’m like, uh, honey, he has been good. on the front end. He’s got a knife to my throat, honey. Are you sure you paid it to this dumb guy? Yes. Anyway, it all got ironed out and everything. I sound like an idiot. Yeah, I gave it to this dumb guy. I’m guessing he’s like Bobby Peru from Wild at Heart. Your wife’s like Laura Dern. He’s been all super creepy. Yeah. no, no, I, I, this guy I never met. Cause he wasn’t, he never, he had people. This is like the, the man, I guess I met him when he came and did the quote. This is the fixer. Yeah. He shows up like, ah, this guy’s like the, the guy that doesn’t work, you know, he just takes care of things. And, uh, so anyway, he was gone last week and the other guys just showed up and did all the work. And then he shows up, you know, he, he fixed the fence because, uh, The other guy, he wants chopping down trees and making him money. If your wife’s lying, I’m going to cut off her finger. What? He was pretty nice about it, but I was just like, I feel like I have to interrogate people because she leaves me to do the… I have to be the face of the organization here a lot of times. Wasn’t she concerned, though? Because you guys are so private. I can’t imagine… It had to be outside. There’s no way this guy got inside your house. There’s no way this… I wasn’t here. I don’t know. I don’t think… I don’t know. Your wife was probably tied to a chair or something. I wouldn’t let anybody in the house. You stick to what we both talked about, all right? You say anything at all, I cut your fingers off. Whenever people are at the door, I always go outside. Yeah, I do too. I’m like, oh, let me step out here and see what you need, right? Oh, you’re on the Segway. There’s no going in. I go, let’s talk right in front of my ring doorbell. So just in case you want to violate me in any way possible, I haven’t. We’ve got a wide-angle lens on us. No, but I sound like such an idiot. So this guy thought you stiffed him or something. That’s funny. Well, no, I think he was just, I think somebody, because it was like, I think it was Friday. I don’t know. It was last week, late last week. I think they just put it in the wrong box or something because he didn’t see it. So it all got figured out. A bunch of bad people near St. Louis or something. Yeah. No, because they did all the work before I paid them. I paid them after they got done. Well, I know. He’s worried about it. He’s like, well, hey, we’re… I mean, I don’t know. I guess they could have not come back and fixed the fence. I paid them. Hey, Llama, Llama, how about something for the effort? Yeah. They did it fine. Work to your wife’s throat. Yeah. Although last night we had a big storm and we heard a big crack. I thought another tree got struck by lightning, but I don’t think so. I didn’t see any aftermath. That’s where Bob gets religious. God, please, no. No, God. No, we did. We had one of the trees that got cut down got struck by lightning, though it lived. I mean, we’ve had it now for, gosh. probably six, five or six years after it got struck by lightning. It was still up there. It’s finally kind of falling apart where I was worried that’s gonna collapse you know? Sure. So we had it down, but no, it was strong as an ox. It took him a while to take it down but uh yeah and but whenever it got struck, I mean, literally all the bark just shot off of it. But I looked around today and I didn’t see anything. So it must have been close by, but not, not close enough. They rattled the house real good, so I don’t k

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