Seeing Death Clearly

Seeing Death Clearly is a show that challenges you to think about your beliefs about death, dying, grief, and living life. I am your host, Jill McClennen, a death doula and end-of-life coach. As a death doula, I found through first-hand experience that the more I came to terms with my thoughts and feelings about death and dying, the more present I became in my everyday life and I hope to share that with you too, how you can live a better life by having a healthier relationship with death and dying. Each episode features a guest who shares their beliefs and stories about death and dying. These are honest conversations about a topic most of us avoided talking about our entire lives. I am on a mission to change that, one conversation at a time.

Seeing Death Clearly is a society podcast hosted by Jill McClennen, with 180 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80.

Jill McClennen hosts Seeing Death Clearly, a society show with 180 episodes published.

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  Episode #178

  Bringing Dying Back Into the Community with Hannah Fowler

  Sep 27, 202648 min

  Send us Fan Mail What could end-of-life care look like if caring for people who are dying became more of a community responsibility? In this episode, Jill talks with nurse Hannah Fowler about small, community-based homes for people at the end of life and the role these spaces can play for people who may not have family, caregivers, or a safe place to die. Hannah shares how her work in nursing and hospice eventually brought her to the Center for Conscious Living & Dying in Asheville, now called Emberlight. She and Jill talk about the value of keeping these homes small and rooted in their communities, as well as Jill’s involvement in creating a similar three-bed home in Philadelphia. They also get into some of the harder questions surrounding this work. How do death doulas charge for care when so much of what they provide is presence, time, reassurance, and education? Why are some hospice organizations hesitant to work alongside doulas, while others are finding ways to collaborate? Hannah shares some of what she learned from being part of a community caring for people who were dying, including how the model supported not only residents, but volunteers, caregivers, and hospice professionals. The conversation also explores the personal side of doing this work—trauma, triggers, boundaries, shadow work, and the ways being close to death can bring us face-to-face with parts of ourselves we may otherwise avoid. Hannah now brings these experiences into her work through the School of the Red Skywalker, where she offers community circles, mentorship, education, and leadership support focused on creating healthier ways of caring for ourselves and one another. 00:00 Letting Go of Perfection 01:26 Meet Hannah Faller 02:47 Starting a Community Home 04:33 Charging for Presence 08:28 Emberlight Model 10:13 Hospice and Doula Bridge 11:59 Volunteer Firekeeping Care 16:25 Overnight Staffing Reality 18:57 Building Volunteer Community 20:09 Finding Connection and Belonging 22:13 Separation and Meaning 23:58 Shadow Work at Bedside 25:08 Death as Catalyst 27:39 Triggers and Limits 29:29 Loving Activation 31:11 Bridging Spirit and Shadow 33:29 Choosing Hard Experiences 37:06 Adaptations and Integration 38:34 Witnessing Without Judgment 39:35 Numbing and Forgiveness 41:49 Red Skywalker Offerings 44:16 Ripple Effects and Rebuilding 46:53 Ways to Work Together 48:00 Closing Thanks and Ripples https://www.redskywalker.school Hannah@redskywalker.school Support the show Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life . jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com Instagram Facebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle LinkedIn TikTok

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  Episode #177

  The Psychology of Dying with Dr. Anya Schultz

  Sep 19, 202649 min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly , I talk with psychology professor Dr. Anya Schultz, who teaches a course on the Psychology of Death and Dying. Her classroom gives students permission to explore subjects many of us are taught to avoid, often leading them to question their assumptions about death, grief, funerals, and what it means to say goodbye. Anya shares some of the exercises she uses with her students, including writing goodbye letters, imagining their own deaths, creating funeral programs and eulogies, and using the Go Wish card game to think about what matters most at the end of life. We also talk about the expectations we place on grief and how easily those expectations can make someone wonder whether they are grieving “correctly.” Our conversation expands beyond death to the many other losses we experience throughout life—changes in relationships, identity, health, roles, and the future we thought we would have. We explore why children benefit from honest, age-appropriate conversations about death rather than being completely shielded from it, and how the language adults use can shape a child’s understanding of loss. Anya also shares how her own experiences with caregiving, motherhood, illness, and having a daughter with cystic fibrosis have influenced the way she approaches death and uncertainty. Throughout our conversation, we come back to something at the heart of Seeing Death Clearly : talking openly about death isn’t only about preparing for the end of life. It can help us better understand loss and change, show up for the people we love, and think more intentionally about how we want to live while we’re here. 00:00 Societal Grief Scripts 00:18 Podcast Setup and Guest 02:26 Inside the Death and Dying Class 03:57 Aha Moments and Goodbye Letters 07:12 Real Feelings Versus Expectations 12:18 Grief Beyond Death 14:18 Talking to Kids About Death 17:52 Parenting With Illness Reality 22:15 Avoidance Religion and Meaning 26:39 Celebrating Life at Funerals 27:44 Why Rituals Matter 28:46 Funerals Are Evolving 29:38 Living Wakes and Parties 31:17 Grief Before Death 34:12 Caregiving Reality Check 35:55 Finding Beauty in Death 37:57 Life Cycles and Seasons 39:39 Students Plan Their Funerals 42:46 Death and Rebirth Meditation 45:38 Fears About the Process 46:43 Caregiver Worries and Illness 48:02 Closing and Contact Info dranya.schultz@gmail.com Support the show Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life . jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com Instagram Facebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle LinkedIn TikTok

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  Episode #176

  The Stories We Carry After Someone Dies with Steve Beal Sr.

  Sep 13, 202646 min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly , I’m joined by writer and father of six Steve Beal Sr. for a conversation about family stories, grief, faith, and what we can learn when we take the time to really listen to the people who came before us. Steve shares how traveling with his mother to New Brunswick, Canada, to visit aging relatives eventually led him to begin recording the stories and experiences that would become a book about family, memory, and what he calls “generation jumping”, intentionally connecting with older generations and preserving their stories before they are lost. We talk about what happened when Steve brought his aunt back to the family farm and how being in that familiar place brought memories and stories back to the surface. We also talk about the stories our relatives tell over and over, why those repetitions can mean something different after someone dies, and how laughter and grief can exist right alongside each other. Steve and I also discuss what our children learn by watching us care for aging family members, the importance of making room for deeper conversations, and the awareness that we don’t always have as much time with the people we love as we think we do. Faith is also an important part of Steve’s story. He shares how Christian hope has shaped the way he understands death and grief, including his experiences with family funerals, while still leaving room for the sadness and mourning that come with losing someone we love. At the heart of our conversation is something simple: ask the questions, listen to the stories, spend the time, and pay attention to the people you love while they are still here. 00:00 Intentionality Matters 00:15 Meet Jill and Steve 02:52 How the Book Began 05:39 New Brunswick Roots 06:46 From Sports to Spirit 10:43 Publishing and Purpose 14:04 Taking Elders Home 19:13 Hope and Grief 22:20 Grandmother Funeral Memory 23:34 Hymns and Poetry 24:23 Celebration Amid Loss 25:23 Laughs at Funerals 26:04 Bible on Grief 28:05 Dad’s Wake Stories 31:34 Record Family History 33:21 Modeling Care for Elders 36:26 Questions for Grammy 41:07 Nature and God Connection 44:25 Where to Find Steve Blog: 1inawesomewonder.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SteveBealSr Substack: https://substack.com/@inhumbleadoration Generation Jumping on Amazon: https://a.co/d/09QBc3on Support the show Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life . jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com Instagram Facebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle LinkedIn TikTok

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  Episode #175

  Losing a Sister and Learning to Live With Loss with Lila Glasoe Francese

  Sep 6, 202645 min

  Send us Fan Mail When Lila Glasoe Francese’s sister Carolyn was diagnosed with glioblastoma in 2015, life changed quickly. Carolyn underwent surgeries and a trial treatment before dying 13 months later at just 46 years old, leaving behind a seven-year-old son and a family learning how to live with an enormous loss. In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly , Lila joins death doula and funeral celebrant Jill McClennen for a conversation about what grief actually looks like over time, not as something we simply move through and leave behind, but as something that continues to become part of our lives. Lila shares what it was like to lose her sister, help raise Carolyn’s son, and redefine what family looked like alongside her husband and brother-in-law. Now, a decade after Carolyn’s death, grief can still appear unexpectedly through milestones, memories, scents, songs, and other reminders that bring the past immediately into the present. Jill and Lila also talk about our culture’s discomfort with sadness and the pressure people can feel to be “okay” after loss. They explore why we need more honest conversations about illness, dying, caregiving, and grief and the importance of finding the people who are willing to show up and help when life becomes overwhelming. Writing became one of the ways Lila processed her own experience. What began with journaling eventually grew into her books, The Situation: A Radical Journey Through Sisterhood and Life Amplified: The Search for Resilience After Loss . Sharing her story also opened the door for other people to share losses they had been carrying, demonstrating how storytelling can create connections around experiences that are often kept private. The conversation also explores legacy, community, family, and what loss can teach us about the things we spend our lives accumulating compared with the people and relationships that ultimately matter most. At the heart of this episode is something Jill has learned through many conversations with guests over the years: grief doesn’t simply end. We learn how to carry what we’ve lost while continuing to live, love, connect, and make meaning in the life that is still here. 00:00 Grief Changes You 01:51 Meet Lila and Her Story 02:27 Glioblastoma and Writing Through Loss 06:44 Sharing Stories Heals 11:00 Triggers and Sense Memories 15:17 Milestones Without Her 19:21 Redefining Family After Loss 23:05 Find the Helpers 26:58 Honest End of Life Talk 36:49 Living Fully and Letting Go 37:22 Stuff vs People 42:51 Books and Closing Thoughts https://www.amazon.com/Situation-Radical-Journey-Thru-Sisterhood https://www.instagram.com/lifeamplifiedbook/ https://lifeamplifiedbook.com/the-situation-a-radical-journey-thru-sisterhood/ Support the show Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life . jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com Instagram Facebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle LinkedIn TikTok

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  Episode #174

  Death Doulas and Hospice Nurses Talk Caregiving Community and Conscious Dying with Trish Rux and Jan Booth

  Aug 30, 202642 min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly , I’m joined by hospice nurses and end-of-life doulas Jan Booth and Trish Rux, authors of Dying Matters: Eight Conversations That Can Change Your Life. We talk about why conversations about serious illness, caregiving, and end-of-life wishes need to begin long before a crisis. Through their years of hospice and palliative care experience, Jan and Trish have seen how often families find themselves making difficult decisions without having talked about what matters most to the person they love. We explore why end-of-life planning is about much more than completing an advance directive. It’s also about understanding our values, thinking about who will care for us, talking honestly with the people in our lives, and building the support we may need as circumstances change. Jan and Trish also share how their experiences as nurses led them into death doula work and why doulas can be valuable guides during serious illness, not only during the final days of life. We talk about the continued confusion surrounding hospice and death doula care and why, even after decades of hospice, our culture still struggles to talk openly about dying. A big part of our conversation centers on community and caregiving. We discuss how isolated caregiving can become and what it might look like to rebuild circles of support around people who are seriously ill and their caregivers. We talk about practical approaches such as Share the Care , along with my own experience helping organize around-the-clock community support for someone who was dying. And, as so often happens on this podcast, a conversation about death becomes a conversation about life. Jan, Trish, and I talk about how facing our mortality can help us become clearer about what matters, strengthen our relationships, express gratitude and forgiveness, and have important conversations while we still have the opportunity to have them. Their book, Dying Matters , offers eight practical, heart-centered conversations designed to help individuals, families, caregivers, and communities begin talking about serious illness, caregiving, grief, loss, legacy, and the end of life before a crisis forces those conversations to happen. 00:00 Life Skills for Dying 00:19 Meet the Guests 01:39 Jan’s Hospice Journey 03:38 Trish’s Parallel Path 04:17 Why Change Is Slow 08:28 Beyond Advance Directives 10:26 Serious Illness Doula Role 14:01 Rebuilding Care Communities 16:30 Care Circle in Practice 23:35 Share the Care Model 25:10 Why Community Is Hard 32:13 Book and Discussion Guide 34:47 Mortality as Motivation 39:01 Resources and Where to Find 41:25 Closing and Next Steps info@deathdoulas.com deathdoulas.com https://bookshop.org/p/books/dying-matters-8-conversations-that-can-change-your-life/cf554f4ee1eb868f Support the show Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life . jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com Instagram Facebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle LinkedIn TikTok

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