Episode #3
17. Reshaping People-pleasing, Choices, & Ourselves: Doing the Work with Briania Davis
Bethany chats with licensed marriage and family therapist Briania Davis who works primarily with people—often moms—experiencing overwhelm, stress, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. Davis shares how identity evolves with life stages, parenting, and cultural influences. They discuss distinguishing “have to/need to/want to,” making choices based on intention, and reframing people-pleasing as dependability while examining motivations like loyalty, obligation, and the need for appreciation. The conversation covers grief for past selves, pacing and pausing, finding “sparkles” of gratitude, using language and metaphors to clarify experience, and how therapy offers support, tools, or information and access to resources. Learn more about Briania: Instagram Facebook Website Psychology Today To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Podcast Website Bethany's Website Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram Bethany's Instagram Bethany's Facebook Page Things we talked about: Kpop Demon Hunters Marvel Comics Iron Man/Tony Stark's Arc Reactor Battery different model evolutions Nsync Puppets Pinocchio Elsa from Frozen: Don’t feel it, don’t let it show Sister act 2 Dave Matthews: The Space Between Lyrics Denzel Washington quote: Don’t confuse movement with progress. My mother told me, she said, “Yeah you ‘cause you can run in place all the time and never get anywhere.” Dillard University 2015 Commencement Address | Denzel Washington: 15 min & 4 min clip Aesop’s Fable The Tortoise & the Hare God Wink Movies Ashton Kutcher movies: Just Married with Brittany Murphy. I had a moment where I was briefly thinking of What Happens in Vegas , which has Cameron Diaz in it 00:00 Meet Briania 00:09 From Detention to Therapy 02:48 Why Adolescents Changed 05:47 Pandemic and Digital Life 08:19 Therapy Ripple Effects 11:14 Choices and Why Questions 12:37 Have To Need To Want To 13:45 Time Management and Breaks 19:28 Parenting and Expectations 24:12 Metaphors for Feeling Stuck 30:47 Sparkles and Gratitude 39:00 People Pleasing and Worth 47:09 Invisibility and Identity 50:16 Grieving Old You 51:52 Nostalgia And Freedom 53:34 Reframing Perfectionism 55:46 Parenthood Identity Shifts 59:42 Belonging Without Masks 01:03:59 Too Much Not Enough 01:06:28 Burnout And The Cost 01:08:34 Chasing The Right Feeling 01:13:36 Tools For Emotional Release 01:15:15 Becoming The Professional 01:20:31 Therapy As Support And Access 01:24:44 Wrap Up And Rapid Fire 01:33:49 Misconceptions About Therapy 01:35:56 Final Thanks And Goodbye
