Rewire For Birth
Ep 80. The Birth Experience We Don't Talk About: A Father's Perspective on Birth Trauma with Tiago Kunzendorff
Preparing for motherhood is more than about knowing what to expect. Rewire for Birth helps you prepare your mind, body, nervous system, and intuition so you can move through pregnancy, birth, and motherhood with greater trust, confidence, and connection to yourself. Rewire your mind. Reclaim your birth. Learn more here: Rewire for Birth What happens to the birth partner when birth doesn't go as planned? In this powerful conversation, we sit down with Tiago Kunzendorff, a father of three, to explore an often-overlooked part of the birth experience: what happens to the father or birth partner when they witness a traumatic birth. Tiago shares the story of his first child's birth in 2004, which quickly became an emergency C-section. He describes feeling completely powerless, disconnected, and unsure of what he was supposed to do while watching his wife go through an intense medical emergency. For years, he told the story as an incredible and somewhat shocking birth story—but he hadn't fully explored how the experience affected him. This conversation opens the door to a different question: What happens to the father when he witnesses birth trauma? Tiago shares what it felt like to be treated as a supporting character, to feel like he was in the way, and to suddenly find himself standing in an operating room surrounded by doctors, blood, medical equipment, and uncertainty. He also shares the emotional aftermath of his second child's birth, when his son experienced complications and spent time in the NICU. Through these experiences, Tiago began to understand how much birth can imprint not only the mother, but the entire family. In this episode, we explore: The often-overlooked experience of fathers during birth Why birth partners can experience feelings of helplessness and powerlessness Why traditional prenatal education may not prepare birth partners for the reality of birth Tiago’s experience witnessing an emergency C-section The emotional impact of watching someone you love experience a medical emergency The difference between witnessing an experience and experiencing its emotional impact The importance of including fathers and birth partners in birth preparation The emotional aftermath of an emergency birth Tiago’s experience when his son required NICU care The isolation fathers can experience while trying to stay strong The importance of talking about difficult birth experiences Why families benefit when both parents are educated and supported How partners can become more involved in the birth experience The importance of discussing what kind of birth experience you want to share Why helplessness doesn't have to be the default experience for birth partners Preparing not only for birth, but for the unexpected One of the most important messages from this conversation is that birth affects more than the person giving birth. The mother deserves support, education, safety, and empowerment. And the father or birth partner deserves preparation, education, inclusion, and support too. Because when the whole family is prepared and supported, everyone has more opportunity to participate in the experience rather than simply react to it. Your birth matters. Your partner’s experience matters. And the way you enter parenthood together matters. Rewire your mind. Reclaim your birth. Learn more: https://www.rewireforbirth.com CONNECT WITH TIAGO KUNZENDORFF Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kunzendorff/ CONNECT WITH CINDY Website: Cindy Tahhan Official Website Instagram: Dr. Cindy Tahhan Instagram Rewire for Birth: Rewire for Birth Instagram
