Episode #4
Coercive Control: When You’re “Allowed” to Choose, But Pay for It | Lindsay Stoker | S5E04
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Coercive Control: When You’re “Allowed” to Choose, But Pay for It | Lindsay Stoker If you’ve ever been “allowed” to do something, then paid for it with pressure, silence, tracking, or fear, this episode names that pattern. Lisa Sonni sits down with Lindsay Stoker , a 20-year stenographic court reporter and author of the forthcoming book The Control Code , to explain how coercive control hides behind permission, concern, and behavior that looks deniable from the outside. They unpack how control is built in tiny increments—constant texting, stonewalling, isolation, location tracking, and “boundaries” used to punish—until you start self-policing to stay safe. Lindsay frames early love bombing as territory acquisition and control as an engine that extracts compliance at the lowest cost. The key question is not what you were technically allowed to do, but what happened when you pushed back. Recognizing the pattern early matters, because fear itself is part of the abuse—and coercive control is strongly tied to lethality. Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/ Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
