Episode #9
Balancing warm and firm parenting with Professor Mick Cooper
"We're not born knowing how to parent well," says Professor Mick Cooper. "It's things we need to learn, like anything else." I'm joined by Professor Mick Cooper , chartered psychologist and father of four, to talk about the space between being too soft and too strict, and why landing there is harder than anyone lets on. Mick is Professor of Counselling Psychology at the University of Roehampton , a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, and an internationally recognised author whose books include "Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy". Much of what he shares, he says, comes as much from raising his own children as from the research. We talk about the three parenting styles and the authoritative-like middle , warm and loving while still holding boundaries; why unconditional acceptance doesn't mean no boundaries ; and the difference between judging what a child does and judging who a child is. We also get into: Bowlby's secure base, and why conveying love comes before everything else The quiet cost of casting one child as "the clever one" and another as "the fun one" The emotional work of accepting a path you didn't hope your child would take Thought traps, and why your child might take it from a therapist but not from you Emotional literacy as a life skill, and how early you can start This conversation explores ideas from counselling and psychotherapy, including attachment theory, cognitive behavioural approaches to unhelpful thinking patterns, and the concept of defence mechanisms. These are offered as educational frameworks rather than clinical guidance, and are not presented as one-size-fits-all answers. Nothing in this episode constitutes clinical advice. If you are experiencing significant mental health difficulties, please consult your GP or a qualified mental health professional. Go Deeper: Attune IN® delivers connection science education for busy parents. The Attune IN program provides self paced guidance by a psychiatrist turned educator and mum of 3. If you are a parent or practitioner looking for the science of connection, or an employer wanting to support working parents in your organisation, visit attunein.co.uk for more info. Originally published on Spotify .
