What is Athena's owl doing in the Greek marketplace? How can a clock tell time in the dark? On If Objects Could Talk, art and artifacts leave the museum vault and come alive to share their side of the story. Featuring objects from the Getty Museum collection, each episode introduces listeners to the history, creation, and everyday use of incredible items like an Egyptian cat statue, a Rococo microscope, and a glass flask shaped like a fish. Voice actors and immersive sound design bring these historical fiction tales to life. Find coloring pages, discussion guides, and related activities on the pages for each episode. Visit our website for more resources: www.getty.edu/ioct.
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Contact path
Verified email
Booking probability
31%
Guest openness
Selective
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Signup to Generate a PitchWhat is Athena's owl doing in the Greek marketplace? How can a clock tell time in the dark? On If Objects Could Talk, art and artifacts leave the museum vault and come alive to share their side of the story.
Recent episodes include "Small Snail in the Big Cities" (26 October 2026, 15 minutes), "A Bed Story, Not a Bedtime Story" (19 October 2026, 13 minutes), and "A Griffin Sees It All" (5 October 2026, 14 minutes).
If Objects Could Talk publishes roughly every two weeks, with episodes averaging 13 minutes.
Booking probability for If Objects Could Talk is 31%, and the host is rated Selective on guests. If Objects Could Talk requires a Pod Score of 80 or higher. If Objects Could Talk's contact route on record: verified email.
The strongest fits for If Objects Could Talk are Museums, Zoos & Historic Sites. If Objects Could Talk has an arts audience.
If Objects Could Talk is an arts podcast.
Our AI reads these to draft pitches. Use them as grounding for a pitch that cites a real guest and a specific topic.
If Objects Could Talk
This vase might be nearly 10 feet tall and weigh half a ton, but the snail who hangs around its base isn’t intimidated. This plucky guest will tell you all about their enormous home, and how it traveled to three World’s...
If Objects Could Talk
It’s hard to stay awake when you’re a luxurious, fluffy, silk-covered bed! Our leading lady will try, though, as she reminisces about the many, many hands who worked hard to make her. From the carpenter and gilder (yes...
If Objects Could Talk
One giant blue orb dotted with stars, six griffins, 12 zodiac symbols, 18 candle holders, countless crystals—and even a bowl to fill with goldfish! Have you ever seen something so elaborate just hanging from the...
If Objects Could Talk
Why is The Vexed Man making that scrunched up face? Has he tasted a lemon? Smelled a skunk? Nope—that’s just his thinking face! This intensely tense alabaster sculpture of a head is used to people staring and trying to...
If Objects Could Talk
It’s a knight! It’s a cat! No, it’s a…flea? Picture it: the French countryside, 1751. A young flea prepares for his moment in the spotlight—of a magnificent gold and sharkskin microscope. This compound microscope was...
If Objects Could Talk
(Rerun) How does a snake bracelet celebrate her favorite holiday? Learn about gold jewelry, the meaning of snakes for ancient Egyptians, and the Roman holiday of Saturnalia from this snake who knows all the best...
If Objects Could Talk
You probably know that the Olympics started in ancient Greece, but did you know that they started as just a single running race? Or that the athletes—all male—competed naked and covered in oil? As the world gears up to...
If Objects Could Talk
This season on If Objects Could Talk we imagined what would happen if museum objects could talk. But have you ever wondered if plants could talk? To dig into this question, we’re sharing an episode from Constant Wonder...
Episode #11
From bad poetry and papyrus to candles and boar, give the gifts any Roman would love to receive with our Ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide! (Cue the air horns.) In this special episode, a carved doll has combed the ancient...
If Objects Could Talk
This week we’re sharing part two of our collaboration with the Culture Kids podcast. (Head back to the feed for part one if you haven't listened yet!) Asher and his mom Kristen join If Objects Could Talk producer Zoe on...
If Objects Could Talk
This week we’re sharing a collaboration with the Culture Kids podcast. Asher and his mom Kristen join If Objects Could Talk producer Zoe at the Getty Villa Museum to learn about Roman dinner parties—then we travel back...
If Objects Could Talk
(Rerun) Does this acrobatic astragalos (an ancient kind of dice) have what it takes to win the big game? Learn about the twists and turns of ancient gameplay and how sheep knucklebones aren’t so different from modern...
If Objects Could Talk
This week we're sharing an episode of another art history podcast we love! Who Arted celebrates art in all of its forms and in terms anyone can understand. Each episode tells the story of a different artist and artwork...
Episode #10
Like a noir detective, this key with a horsehead handle becomes embroiled in a mysterious disappearance—her very own! Help her investigate the blacksmith’s workshop and solve the case so she can open her special box...
Episode #9
This dancing Satyr—half goat, half man, all prankster—is on the move, sealing important documents that travel across Etruria, a pre-Roman civilization. With his good-luck scarab on his back, he travels to help a...
Episode #8
One of the three women on this hydria (water jug) gives us a peek at some old-fashioned water cooler gossip. At a time before indoor plumbing, the water fountain was a center of urban life—so these ladies got to hear it...
Episode #7
Start your day the Roman way with an offering to this pocket-sized household demigod called a Lar. Follow along with a family’s daily rituals and routines and hear how this Lar protected two young boys from getting into...
Episode #6
Blowing glass is just like blowing bubbles, sort of. This fish flask is used to leading a school (she is a fish, after all!) so she’ll teach you all about Roman glassblowing and ancient apprenticeships—as well as the...
Episode #5
This Egyptian cat statuette is here to set the record straight. Yes, she’s a little bit of a diva, but don’t all cats deserve to be worshiped? No, she’s not really the goddess Bastet, just an offering to her, thank you...
Episode #4
A pair of feet lights up the scene—literally. This feet-shaped lamp knows he’s a little silly, but he’s got some seriously important work to do! Hear about how ancient houses were designed and lit in a time before you...
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Winchester Little Theatre
Objects Could Talk
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