I Wish You Knew

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

I Wish You Knew is a society podcast hosted by Unknown Host, with 100 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Unknown Host hosts I Wish You Knew, a society show with 100 episodes published.

Our AI reads these to draft pitches. Use them as grounding for a pitch that cites a real guest and a specific topic.

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  Episode #144

  What Couples Therapy Gets Wrong About Men | Jeff St. James & Adam Lane Smith

  Aug 13, 20261h 8m

  Most women use therapy as a metric for whether a man is ready for marriage. Most couples therapists are operating from a framework that was never designed with men in mind. And one licensed professional clinical counselor has seen enough that he is leaving the field entirely. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jeff Saint James, licensed professional clinical counselor and men's issues specialist, to break down what modern therapy is getting wrong about men, why couples therapy is failing husbands at an alarming rate, and what women need to understand about the men they love that nobody in the mental health field is telling them. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why therapy as a metric for a healthy man is one of the most misleading filters women are using today 2- Why the couples therapy field is operating from assumptions that actively harm men and what those assumptions are 3- Why paternity fraud is one of the most underreported and destructive forces in modern relationships 4- Why men in survival mode cannot express their needs and what happens to a relationship when that continues for years 5- What masculine leadership actually looks like and why it is not what most women were told to be afraid of 6- Why gratitude and respect do more for a marriage than almost any therapeutic intervention 7- Why men and women are suffering in the same relationships without either one being able to see what the other is carrying If you love a man and want to understand what is actually happening inside him, this is the conversation that will change how you see him. Jeff St. James is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), relationship strategist, and host of the Ask a Brotha podcast. Combining clinical expertise with candid cultural commentary, he helps people build emotionally safe, accountable relationships while tackling modern dating, emotional safety, and family dynamics. Reserve your spot for this FREE masterclass and learn the conversation and secure repair skills that help you lead change, even when your partner has given up. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Jeff St. James is a licensed clinical counselor in the process of leaving the therapy field because it keeps allying against the men it was supposed to help. If you want to understand what healthy masculine leadership actually looks like, the FREE Secure Circle is where that conversation keeps going. Join free: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Too much couples therapy puts the man in the villain seat before the work even begins. Secure Circle Plus takes a different approach: coaches hold both partners accountable while teaching the attachment skills that rebuild connection through courses, practicums, and direct Q&A. Upgrade: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/

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  Episode #143

  The Science of Why You Cannot Feel Loved | Dr. Sue Carter & Adam Lane Smith

  Aug 6, 20261h 12m

  You are genuinely loved. Your partner is loyal. And you still cannot breathe out and relax all the way. That is not a character flaw. It is a biochemical problem. And it has a biochemical answer. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Sue Carter, the world's leading expert on oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, to break down exactly why some people cannot feel safe even when they are safe, what chronic fear does to the body over a lifetime, and what the science of love hormones actually tells us about how human beings bond, heal, and survive. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why you can be genuinely loved on paper and still be physically unable to feel that safety and what is actually happening in the body when that occurs 2- Why oxytocin is an extraordinary molecule and a terrible drug and what that distinction means for every person buying oxytocin spray 3- Why stress is not inherently bad and why shared challenge is actually one of the most powerful bonding mechanisms available to couples 4- Why the body encodes negative experiences differently than positive ones and what that means for people trying to heal 5- Why fathers who help raise their children live measurably longer and what the research says about sociality and longevity 6- Why novelty and shared experience produce more bonding than sitting on a couch together ever will 7- Why love connection and oxytocin are nature's medicine and why you cannot buy them on the internet If you have ever wondered why safety feels impossible to feel even when it surrounds you, this conversation will give you the science behind what is happening and what can actually change it. Join my Free Attachment Community - The Secure Circle. You get exclusive lives, videos, access to my team, and more! https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for the complete attachment program, including courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, a private community, and session archive. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/

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  Episode #142

  What Psychiatry Gets Wrong About Attachment and Mental Health | Dr. Aaron Kheriaty & Adam Lane Smith

  Aug 4, 20261h 11m

  Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, psychiatrist, medical ethicist, and author of Making the Cut, to break down what modern psychiatry is getting catastrophically wrong, why the chemical imbalance model is not just incomplete but actively harmful, and what actually heals people when medications and therapy alone are not enough. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why reducing mental illness to a chemical imbalance in the brain has produced a generation of people who believe they will never get better 2- Why psychiatrists are seeing numbers on a sheet instead of people and what the system that created that looks like from the inside 3- Why physical activity four times a week is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression and why nobody tells patients that 4- Why relationships are the single strongest predictor of outcomes even in the most severe mental illnesses including schizophrenia 5- Why people in third world countries with schizophrenia often do better than people in industrialized nations and what that reveals 6- Why modern life has become voluntary solitary confinement and why dopamine binges have replaced human connection 7- Why the loneliness epidemic cannot be solved by more therapists and what actually has to happen instead 8- What Dr. Kheriaty would change about American psychiatry if he had absolute power and control If you have ever been handed a prescription and sent home and felt like something essential was being missed, this conversation will show you exactly what that something was. Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today: Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He also serves in consulting and advisory roles at the Brownstone Institute, the Zephyr Institute, the Paul Ramsey Institute, and the Simone Weil Center for Political Philosophy. https://x.com/AaronKheriatyMD https://www.aaronkheriaty.com/

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  Episode #141

  What It Takes to Win an Avoidant Man's Heart | Brandon & Dana Wade

  Jul 23, 202657 min

  He built one of the most controversial dating sites in the world. He told every woman upfront on day one that he did not believe in marriage. And then he met Dana. And everything changed. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Brandon Wade, founder of Seeking.com, and his partner Dana to break down what it actually takes to win an avoidant man's heart. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why Brandon spent years believing love was a concept invented by poor people and what changed his mind 2- Why radical honesty on a dating profile attracted the right person faster than anything else 3- Why dating apps give you quantity but why quality requires something completely different 4- Why 65 percent of couples once met through family and friend networks and what the collapse of that has done to modern relationships 5- What women are actually looking for underneath the surface and why financial safety is not gold digging 6- Why men who pursue skill mastery and competence are automatically more attractive and how Brandon proved it 7- Why avoidant men build layers of ego and what the one thing is that finally brings those walls down 8- What secure attachment actually looks like inside a real relationship between two people who almost never found each other If you have ever wondered whether an avoidant man can actually change, this conversation is your answer. Join my Free Attachment Community - The Secure Circle. You get exclusive lives, videos, access to my team, and more! http://links.adamlanesmith.com/free-secure-circle Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for the complete attachment program, including courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, a private community, and session archive. Join today: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/plus-secure-circle Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23

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  Episode #140

  13 Habits That Build Emotional Resilience | Amy Morin and Adam Lane Smith

  Jul 23, 20261h 4m

  She lost her mother to a brain aneurysm. Then three years to the day, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack. She was a therapist who had studied grief and still felt completely unprepared for what it actually felt like. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Amy Morin, therapist and bestselling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”, to break down what mental strength actually is, why resilience is not the same as just bouncing back, and what people with anxious attachment specifically need to hear about building the capacity to survive hard seasons without losing themselves. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why resilience is not about bouncing back and what mental strength actually looks like from the inside 2- Why stopping certain behaviors is often easier and more powerful than starting new ones 3- What learned helplessness is and why understanding it changed everything about how Amy works with people 4- Why anxiously attached people are uniquely vulnerable to the 13 thinking traps that drain mental strength 5- Where the line is between helping someone grow stronger and accidentally making them helpless 6- Why chasing someone who disrespects you costs you more than the relationship ever gave you 7- What to do when you are at the bottom and even the thought of doing 13 things sounds like too much 8- How to teach your children emotional regulation without hiding your hard moments from them If you have ever sat on the worst day of your life and wondered how you are going to get through it, this is the conversation you need to hear. Join the next masterclass in the FREE Secure Circle community and learn how to build secure relationships. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 Surviving your worst days takes more than pushing through. Real strength grows from secure attachment. Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today: Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 Strength is not a feeling, it is a skill you practice. Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today: Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16

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