How Dead the Mariners Are

<p>This podcast was recorded on Friday, December 12, approximately 18 hours before Jorge Polanco signed with the Mets. You can see the results of our discussion on the whiteboard pictured above, or you can save 40...

<p>Was it the no-trade clause? Was it Vue Lounge? Or was it the elite assortment of private school options in the greater Seattle area? </p><p>The guys sit down and get to the bottom of just what, exactly, a ‘no-trade...

<p>At the end of the day, John Stanton will continue to profit off his players and refrain from paying them as much as he can afford because he makes more money that way, and he knows that, deep down, as much as fans...

<p>We finally got around to editing our season recap episode but only got through the first third. And I’m unemployed! Brought to you by Audacity.</p><p><p>Thanks for reading M.A.D. Unlimited! This post is public so...

<p>In this podcast, I accidentally use the word ‘amount’ when I obviously mean to say ‘number.’</p> <br/><br/>Get full access to M.A.D. Unlimited at marinersdisgustblog.substack.com/subscribe

<p>Before I start on my own melodramatic piece, I’d like to formally recognize Alex Johanson for putting this podcast together. He had the idea for the muckbang, hosted it at Zander’s apartment, and did all the editing...

<p>September 22, 2025, Seattle, WA — </p><p>After exorcising our summer road demons with blowout wins in Kansas City and a sweep of the battered Astros—capped by a 7–3 thrashing of Houston on national television so...

<p>We each list our top five single-season pitching seasons from the year 2000 through present, narrowing down the list into a somewhat concise, very difficult to follow five-man rotation and three-man bullpen. We then...

<p>We go position by position, each putting forth a guy from a specific year (i.e., ‘I’ll take 2006 Randy Wynn in left field’) and arguing his case before finally voting on each roster spot.. Can’t use a guy more than...

<p>“What relievers do you find, like, when they enter the game, you’re like, ‘Okay, I feel good about, like, a scoreless inning?’”</p><p>-Zander Norris (20:27)</p><p>Timestamps:</p><p>* 0:00: PSA to abundance of...

<p>In a completely random stroke of luck, the Mariners use the putridity of the Athletics’ bullpen to overcome a dreadful start from supposed ace Brian Woo.</p><p>”You can never get ahead of yourselves with this team...

<p>In light of Wednesday’s win, Jack, Alex, and I reset the tone by talking about some of our least favorite players on the Ms’ roster.</p><p>“He got kind of a fluky, like, pop-single, and they cut to him on first base...

<p>In this recap, I talk about the bottom of the 11th, in which the Mariners fail to score any runs against a basement-dwelling pitcher from the Astros’ bullpen.</p><p>“I’m here to talk a little bit about last night’s...

<p>In today’s special edition of How Dead the Mariners Are, we hear from Jack Weigand, a 25-year-old suffering from a particularly debilitating case of Mariners Fandom. He discusses how Julio Rodriguez hit a baseball...

<p>In today’s edition of Pronouncing the Mariners Dead, I drive 65 miles per hour on Interstate 5 North while recording a half-assed recap of a game I didn’t watch, nor will I ever have any interest in thinking about...