Real Conversations on Resilience, Growth & Living in Alignment Most advice is outsourced wisdom from people who haven't lived what they're teaching. Grit & Grace is a weekly podcast built on a different premise: the answers you're searching for aren't out there — they're in your own self-trust, waiting to be rebuilt. Hosted by master coach and leadership facilitator Pam Rader alongside embodiment coach Erin Payne , with regular appearances from Brian Thiessen — a rare mix of psychological insight and straight-talking cowboy wisdom — this show delivers raw, unscripted conversations about resilience, personal growth, nervous system regulation, and what it actually takes to live in alignment. Each episode challenges the culture of borrowed answers and outsourced authority, replacing it with better questions, somatic awareness, and earned — not inherited — direction. If you're tired of advice that doesn't hold up under your own life, this is the show that hands the authority back to you. Topics we explore: self-trust, personal transformation, nervous system regulation, somatic healing, mindset shift, emotional resilience, authentic leadership, boundaries, self-worth, decision-making, embodiment, psychological insight, living in alignment, coaching, personal growth. New episodes weekly. Real conversations. No outsourced wisdom. 🎙️ Follow Pam: pamrader.com | IG @pamrader | YouTube @coachpamrader 🌿 Follow Erin: erinpayne.ca | IG @erin_payne ✨ Join the waitlist for the Grit & Grace Retreat: pamrader.com/gritandgrace 🎓 Become the Catalyst — our 6-month coaching certification — launches Fall 2026
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What is Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment?
Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment is a education podcast hosted by Unknown Host, with 98 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.
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Unknown Host hosts Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment, a education show with 98 episodes published.
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Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment
Self-Trust, Nervous System Regulation & the CORE Method for Lasting Change
Aug 10, 202645 min
Self-trust is the missing ingredient in personal development — and it's why you can do all the "right" work and still feel stuck. In this episode of Grit & Grace, Pam Rader and Erin Payne break down the exact methodology they use with coaching clients to create lasting, sustainable change: CORE — Create Safety, Observe Patterns, Restore Self-Trust, Embody & Integrate. Pam shares the real story behind her cold plunging practice — how she started building nervous system resilience months before she consciously knew a storm was coming, and how that practice carried her through the day her marriage ended. Erin opens up about choosing herself over a relationship, and the visceral nervous system backlash that showed up the moment she took that step — even though it was exactly what she wanted. Together they unpack why shame and self-blame block transformation, how unspoken expectations quietly sabotage relationships, and why the "terror barrier" — that gut-drop feeling right before you take aligned action — is actually a sign you're doing it right, not a sign to stop. You'll learn: The CORE method for creating lasting change in any area of your life Why creating safety with yourself (not a toxic-free environment) is the real starting point A 3-part inquiry to interrupt any pattern that isn't serving you Why "this doesn't feel right" after a big decision is often your nervous system, not your intuition How to embody new behavior until it becomes identity, not just insight This episode also introduces Become the Catalyst , Pam and Erin's six-month live coaching certification launching October 2026. Applications are open now. Connect with us: Pam Rader: https://pamrader.com | IG: @pamrader | YouTube: @coachpamrader Erin Payne: https://erinpayne.ca | IG: @erin_payne Apply for Become the Catalyst: pamrader.com If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs it — and leave us a rating, it helps more people find the show.
Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment
Meet Your Safety Officer: The Hidden Pattern Sabotaging Your Relationships & Success
Jul 31, 202648 min
Self-trust starts the moment you stop blaming your circumstances and start naming your patterns. In this episode, Pam Rader sits down with co-host Erin Payne and returning guest Brian Thiessen ("the cowboy") to pull apart the invisible loops that keep smart, capable people stuck in the same relationship, business, or money pattern over and over again. They introduce the idea of the "safety officer" — the protective part of you (Pam calls hers Darlene, Erin's is Diane, Brian's is Dave) that hijacks your growth in the name of keeping you safe. It's not broken. It's not weak. It's a part of you doing exactly what it was built to do — and once you can see it clearly, you can't unsee it. In this raw, funny, and unfiltered conversation, you'll learn: Why every self-sabotaging pattern exists to protect, preserve, or prevent The real difference between dopamine ("the chemical of wanting") and oxytocin (true safety and bonding) — and why we get addicted to the chase How avoidant attachment forms, and why chasing "the right person" or "the next business breakthrough" is often a phantom that keeps you in the loop Brian's story of building a 22-year "false safety" marriage to avoid the real work of intimacy Why discomfort is not a red flag — it's often the exact sign you're on the right track A simple parts-work practice for naming your own protector so you can thank it, and move forward anyway This is a conversation about ownership. About taking your hands off the external world as the reason you're stuck, and putting them back on the wheel. Because the moment you can see your pattern clearly, you have the power to build a new one — even if it feels boring, uncomfortable, or unfamiliar at first. Connect with us: Pam Rader — pamrader.com | IG @pamrader Erin Payne — erinpayne.ca | IG @erin_payne Watch on YouTube — youtube.com/@coachpamrader Loved this episode? Rate and review the show — it helps more people find these conversations. And if you're ready to go deeper, join the waitlist for our upcoming Grit & Grace Retreat at pamrader.com/gritandgrace .
Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment
The Shadow side of Grace, Boundaries and Self-Love
Jul 17, 202659 min
An Instagram reel sparked this one — a rapid-fire list of "therapy speak" turned into spiritual bypass. Pam and Erin take it further, unpacking the idea that a shadow isn't the bad stuff — it's the stuff getting a standing ovation. If it's being applauded, you can't see the pattern that's keeping you stuck. This episode breaks down the real difference between healthy behavior and its shadow twin: Giving grace vs. having no standards — and why "I'm just giving them grace" is often just tolerating bad behavior on repeat Authenticity vs. an excuse to stay fixed — "that's just who I am" as a way to avoid becoming someone new Boundaries vs. avoidance — the two-part structure every real boundary needs, and why cutting people off isn't one Self-love vs. becoming uncoachable — when self-compassion turns into an excuse to dodge the mirror Nervous system regulation vs. avoidance in disguise — Erin unpacks how "protecting my peace" can quietly become "avoiding connection" Being triggered as a lifestyle — and why some people get triggered recreationally The healing shadow — if you've been healing the same thing for seven years, you're either being ripped off or you're the problem Abundance vs. accountability — Pam gets personal about the one area she's avoided being accountable in Community vs. validation for your excuses Plus: the "Standing Ovation Audit" — a four-step tool to find out where your praised traits might be costing you connection, growth, or self-trust, and one honest action you can take this week that doesn't need an audience. Quote of the episode: "The shadow is usually the thing in your life that's getting the standing ovation." Mentioned in this episode: Samskara / neuroplasticity — how old patterns get grooved in, and how new ones get built The snake and the rope metaphor (referenced from a previous episode) Tapas — the yogic concept of disciplined fire, and why real self-love requires it Work with us: Grit & Grace Retreat waitlist: pamrader.com/gritandgrace Coach with Pam: pamrader.com Coach with Erin: erinpayne.ca If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it, rate the show, and let us know what landed for you. Pam's book, Through the Cracks: A Gripping Story of Addiction and Rising: https://www.amazon.ca/Through-Cracks-Gripping-Addiction-Rising/dp/1777531608/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=through+the+cracks&qid=1628019474&s=books&sr=1-2
Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment
"The Belief You Didn't Know You Had" — Money, Love & Being Chosen
Jul 6, 202654 min
The beliefs running your life are rarely the ones you'd say out loud. In this episode, Pam Rader and Erin Payne pull back the curtain on the beliefs hiding beneath the surface — the ones disguised as gratitude, independence, or "good enough" — and hand you a real framework for finding them. This is self-trust in action: instead of borrowing someone else's story about money, love, or worthiness, you learn to investigate your own mind and find out what's actually true for you. Pam shares the belief she thought she'd already solved — "there's always enough" — and how it quietly became a ceiling: "there's always just enough." When she asked herself what she really believed about wealthy people, she uncovered a hidden judgment that was keeping her stuck. Erin brings her own thread — the belief that not landing a client meant she wasn't chosen, and wasn't lovable — and how she caught herself in real time. Together they walk through the full six-step framework: Find the pattern — not the belief. Look for where you keep hitting the same wall. Find the judgment underneath — what do you secretly believe about people who already have what you say you want? Name the cost — specifically. Years, income, relationships, opportunities. Flip it — articulate the precise opposite belief, in your own words. Gather evidence deliberately — go hunting for proof the new belief is already true, in your life and in the world. Take consistent action from the new identity — not the old one. A belief becomes real through repeated action, not a single affirmation. They also get into: Why "I've already done this work" is often a resistance itself The difference between appreciation (an action) and gratitude (a state that follows it) How resistance shows up in the body before it shows up as a thought Why exceeding your parents' success can quietly feel disrespectful The "socks on the floor" example — how a small daily irritation can reveal a much deeper belief about control and being seen as capable Why manifestation isn't on a fixed timeline, and what to do when old patterns resurface after you've already shifted If you're ready to stop outsourcing your answers and start trusting your own ability to find them, this episode gives you the tool to do it. Reflect on this for yourself: Where do I keep hitting the same wall? What do I secretly believe about people who already have what I want? What has this belief cost me — specifically? What's the precise opposite belief, in my own words? Who is already living proof this new belief is true? What would someone who believes this do this week that I haven't done yet? Ready to go deeper? Explore Become the Catalyst, our six-month coaching certification launching Fall 2026, or join the waitlist for the Grit & Grace retreat at pamrader.com/gritandgrace . Connect with Erin at erinpayne.ca or @_epayne_ and with Pam at pamrader.com or @pamrader. If this episode gave you something, rate the show, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs it. That's how we take life's grit and turn it into gold.
Grit and Grace: Real Conversatons on Resilience, Growth and Living in Alignment
How to Stop Following Someone Else's Map and Start Trusting Yourself
Jun 23, 202650 min
Are you actually living your life — or just checking off someone else's itinerary? In this episode, Pam and Erin unpack Sadhguru's powerful Tourist vs. Traveler teaching and ask the question most of us have never dared to answer honestly: whose map am I following? Tourists go where everyone says to go. They gather evidence they were there, post the photo, and move on. Travelers slow down, follow the pull, and let the experience itself be the point. Most of us have been tourists in our own lives — in our careers, our relationships, even our parenting — without ever realizing it. Pam shares a spontaneous moment in a Naples deli that became her favorite memory of an entire Italy trip. Erin gets real about a recent work weekend she didn't want to do — and what the exhaustion was actually telling her. Together, they trace the deeper pattern: outsourcing the itinerary of your life to parents, culture, Instagram algorithms, and influencers. In this episode: The Tourist vs. Traveler metaphor and what it reveals about self-trust Why social media has supercharged the borrowed-map problem How to know if you're performing your life vs. actually inhabiting it The one question to ask when you're stuck or procrastinating (it's not what you think) The brain science behind rewiring limiting beliefs — and why affirmations don't work Psycho-Cybernetics, neuroplasticity, and recalling success as a reprogramming tool Practical tools: whose map, trade the destination for a direction, presence audit, better questions Whether it's how you parent, how you work, how you love, or how you spend a Sunday — this episode will make you pause and ask: Am I here, or am I just collecting evidence that I was? Ready to go deeper? 🎙 Work with Pam: https://pamrader.com/ 🌿 Work with Erin: https://erinpayne.ca 📲 Pam on IG: @pamrader | Erin on IG: @erin_payne 🎬 YouTube: @coachpamrader 🏔 Grit & Grace Retreat Waitlist: https://pamrader.com/gritandgrace
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