Confessions of a Parent Coach

Welcome to Confessions of a Parent Coach, the podcast where you'll learn that even parenting experts like me, Ann Kaplan, mother of four, and your host won't have all the answers. I believe that once you realize there's no such thing as a perfect parent, you can achieve fabulous behavior and amazing relationships with your kids.

Confessions of a Parent Coach is a kids podcast hosted by Ann Kaplan, Parent Coach, with 181 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Ann Kaplan, Parent Coach hosts Confessions of a Parent Coach, a kids show with 181 episodes published.

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  Episode #181

  Take a Seat at the Table: How to Stop Future-Tripping and Trust Yourself

  Aug 19, 202627 min

  If your brain is constantly ten steps ahead—trying to predict what's going to happen, prepare for every possible outcome, or make sure your kid will be okay someday—you're probably calling it responsible. But it might actually be anxiety wearing a very convincing outfit. In this episode, Ann explores what happens when we stop trying to manage a future that doesn't exist yet and bring our attention back to the only place where we actually have any agency: right here. Through stories from her own pregnancies, a close friend facing frightening medical uncertainty, and the parents she coaches, Ann shares a mindset that has become a powerful anchor in her own life: The table is already set. Your job is simply to take your seat. Not because you know everything will work out exactly the way you want it to—but because you trust yourself to meet whatever is actually in front of you when it arrives. What You'll Learn Why "future tripping" can feel productive even when it's actually making you more anxious How trying to control your child's future can pull you away from the child who is right in front of you The difference between imaginary control and real agency Why presence can be so regulating for your nervous system How Ann learned to relate very differently to uncertainty during her fourth pregnancy Why trusting yourself may be more useful than trying to predict what happens next How to notice when planning has quietly turned into catastrophizing What it means to "take your seat at the table" when life feels uncertain Key Takeaways You do not need to solve a future problem before it exists. That sixteen-year-old version of your six-year-old isn't here yet. The kid in front of you is. Trying to control the future can cost you the present. When your mind is constantly asking, "But what if…?" it becomes much harder to respond to what this moment actually needs. Certainty and security are not the same thing. Real security doesn't come from knowing exactly what happens next. It comes from knowing: Whatever happens, I will still have me. Presence gives you access to actual agency. You may not control what gets placed on the table. You do control how you show up when you take your seat. You can want something without desperately needing it to happen. Hope, intention, and creating change are very different from trying to outrun fear by forcing a particular outcome. Share This Episode Know a parent who is worrying about who their kid will become instead of being with who they are right now? Send them this episode. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for the future is stop trying to live there.

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  Episode #180

  Conscious Parenting Requires a Conscious Parent

  Aug 12, 202636 min

  When something feels urgent, messy, unfair, or completely out of your control, your brain usually has one very compelling suggestion: Figure it out. Now. Fix the pickup situation. Get your kid to calm down. Send the text. Set the boundary. Solve the problem so you can finally stop feeling so damn upset. Except… that's usually the exact moment we are least equipped to make a good decision. In this episode, Ann talks about why conscious action requires a conscious actor — and why trying to solve a problem while you're dysregulated often creates even more of the thing you were trying to escape. Through stories from her coaching practice and her own life, Ann explores the difference between fixing what's happening around you and first tending to what's happening inside you. Because conscious parenting doesn't start with knowing the perfect thing to do. It starts with a conscious parent. What You'll Learn: Why dysregulation makes us hyper-focused on fixing the external problem How our brains convince us, "If this gets resolved, then I'll feel better" Why changing your kid, co-parent, partner, or circumstances doesn't necessarily create inner calm What happens when we make decisions from panic, anger, fear, or urgency Why "doing" is always influenced by our current state of "being" How even a small increase in awareness can completely change the options available to you Why coaching isn't simply about telling you what to do How IFS and Self energy can help us understand conscious action Why slowing down first can actually help you solve problems faster — and better Key Takeaways: Conscious parenting requires a conscious parent. You cannot create grounded, intentional action from a state of total reactivity. Your brain wants to fix the outside so the inside will feel better. But the external problem often isn't the real source of the turmoil — and solving it may only provide temporary relief. Doing comes from being. Whatever state you're in when you take action becomes the flavor of that action. Panic creates panicked decisions. Anger creates angry decisions. Clarity creates very different possibilities. You don't have to become perfectly calm before you act. This isn't about floating around on a lotus flower. Sometimes the shift is simply going from "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY" to "Okay… this actually isn't an emergency." That small change matters. The answer is often already there. Dysregulation clouds your ability to see it. When consciousness returns, options that were completely invisible a few minutes earlier can suddenly become obvious. A Question to Sit With: How much energy are you spending trying to figure things out… …and how much are you spending tending to the consciousness, presence, and way of being you're bringing to the problem? You might be surprised by what becomes possible when you flip those numbers. Share This Episode: Know someone who is trying desperately to figure out what to do next — with their kid, their co-parent, their relationship, or just life? Send them this episode. Sometimes the next step isn't figuring it out. Sometimes it's becoming the version of yourself who can actually see the next step. Don't forget to subscribe to Confessions of a Parent Coach so you don't miss what's coming next.

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  Episode #179

  Today's Breakthrough Is Tomorrow's Prison

  Aug 5, 202633 min

  Ever have a huge breakthrough and think, Finally. I fixed it. Then six months later, you're talking about the same relationship, parenting struggle, or deeply annoying family dynamic all over again? That doesn't mean the work isn't working. In this episode, Ann explores why personal growth is less like a straight line and more like a spiral. We return to familiar struggles, but we return with more awareness, compassion, and capacity than we had before. You're not back at square one—you're meeting the same material from a new level. Ann also unpacks how the ego can take a liberating insight and quietly turn it into another rigid rule. The breakthrough that once created freedom can eventually become the very thing keeping us stuck. In This Episode: Why revisiting an old struggle doesn't erase your progress The Enneagram of Process and the idea of growth through "octaves" How breakthroughs become new identities, expectations, and rules Why healing doesn't mean never getting triggered again How to recognize when yesterday's wisdom no longer fits today The goal isn't to finally become perfectly healed, evolved, or zen. It's to notice how differently you meet the same messy, human stuff. Reflection: What breakthrough once freed you—but may now be limiting you? Work With Ann There is one spot remaining for Ann's October 8–12 retreat in Traverse City. Reach out to learn more about the retreat or Ann's private coaching. www.annkaplanparentcoach.com/fallretreat

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  Episode #178

  The Only Way Out Is Through: Why We Rush Past the Parts That Hurt

  Jul 29, 202622 min

  Sometimes "I'm over it" doesn't actually mean you're done. Sometimes it means a part of you knows something painful is coming—and it would very much like to skip ahead to the chapter where everything feels fine again. In this deeply personal episode, Ann shares what she uncovered after admitting she was running out of steam for the hands-on years of parenting. With three children nearing or already in adulthood and one 12-year-old still at home, she found herself mentally fast-forwarding to empty-nest life: fewer dinners to make, more freedom, and charcuterie every night forever. But underneath the excitement was something more tender. Ann wasn't only looking forward to what was next. She was trying to protect herself from the grief of what was ending. Through her own coaching experience and the story of a client navigating a painful co-parenting situation, Ann explores why our attempts to avoid difficult emotions often pull us away from the people and moments that matter most. The goal isn't to make hard things stop hurting immediately. The path toward relief begins by allowing them to hurt—and discovering that we can remain present anyway. Key Takeaways You may not be rushing because the next chapter is better. You may be rushing because this chapter ending hurts. Our protective parts often believe happiness comes from eliminating pain. Unfortunately, all that avoiding can also eliminate presence. Planning, controlling, perfecting, pleasing, and impressing can all become strategies for staying one step ahead of uncomfortable emotions. You don't have to enjoy a painful experience to be present with it. Sometimes you're already handling the situation exactly the way you want to. What you actually wish is that doing the right thing didn't hurt. The way to reach the place where something no longer hurts quite so much is to let it hurt first. No amount of preparation or future-tripping can prevent grief—but it can cause you to miss what is still right in front of you. Ready to Stop Skipping Over Yourself? The Fall Retreat is an opportunity to step out of the constant doing, protecting, and managing—and finally make room for the parts of you that have been working so hard to hold everything together. Surrounded by the fall colors of Traverse City, you'll have the space and support to slow down, notice the patterns running beneath the surface, and deepen the kind of work that is difficult to access while regular life keeps demanding your attention. You don't need to arrive completely healed, perfectly clear, or ready to slap a positive spin on the hard stuff. You only need to be willing to meet yourself honestly. Learn more about the Fall Retreat: https://www.annkaplanparentcoach.com/fallretreat Share This Episode Know someone who keeps saying, "I just need to get through this part"? Share this episode with them. They may not need another strategy for getting past it. They may need the reminder that they can move through it without abandoning themselves—or the people they love—along the way. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

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  Episode #177

  When the Container Doesn't Fit Your Kid

  Jul 22, 202627 min

  Sometimes, the problem isn't that your child refuses to cooperate. Sometimes, the expectations, boundaries, or consequences you've created simply don't fit the human being standing in front of you. And when the container doesn't fit, everybody starts to feel like they're failing. In this episode, Ann Kaplan explores what happens when parents rely on generic rules instead of attuning to the actual child they have. Through honest stories from her own parenting and coaching practice, she shows how expectations can become too big, too small, or completely disconnected from a child's current capacity. This isn't about abandoning boundaries or letting your child do whatever they want. It's about creating boundaries that offer enough structure to support your child—without trapping them inside expectations they cannot realistically meet. What You'll Learn What Ann means by an "ill-fitting container" Why increasingly severe consequences can make a struggling child feel even more hopeless How parental fear and dysregulation affect the boundaries we create Why children need expectations that match their developmental capacity How to recognize when your child has outgrown a rule The difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting Why parenting your children fairly does not always mean parenting them identically How attunement helps you create boundaries that support both connection and accountability Why following your own values may occasionally make other people look at you sideways Key Takeaways When a child is struggling, making the consequences bigger does not necessarily make success more likely. Sometimes it simply raises the bar beyond what they can currently reach. An effective boundary must account for your child's age, executive functioning, emotional state, development, and individual capacity. A container can be too large, leaving a child without enough support—or too small, restricting a young adult who is ready for more autonomy. When the rules do not fit, children may experience unnecessary shame while parents feel disappointed, anxious, and increasingly controlling. Authoritative parenting combines strong leadership with genuine attunement. Without attunement, boundaries can quickly become authoritarian. Different children may need different rules, privileges, and levels of support. That isn't unfair. It's responsive parenting. The goal is not to parent a generic teenager or follow someone else's definition of "normal." The goal is to respond to the specific child in front of you. Join Ann at the Fall Retreat The Fall Retreat is a deeply supportive, all-inclusive space for women who are ready to explore connection, boundaries, communication, relationship dynamics, compassion, and peace in a more personal way. Together, you'll step outside the noise of everyday life and examine the containers you've inherited, the ones you've outgrown, and the ones you're ready to create intentionally. The retreat is designed to meet you where you are—not where you think you're supposed to be. https://www.annkaplanparentcoach.com/fallretreat

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