BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

I'm Steff, psychologist & BPD Warrior. Join me for unfiltered stories, the latest research, & practical strategies that actually work. It’s real, raw, & honest talk about BPD, with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear.Whether you're navigating your own diagnosis, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand, you're welcome here.Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht Note: Earlier episodes feature my wonderful co-host, Kerry Fisher. Her warmth & laughter remain part of this podcast's story, & I'm so grateful for the foundation we built together.

BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff is a education podcast hosted by BPD Support, with 55 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

BPD Support hosts BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff, a education show with 55 episodes published.

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  BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

  Why You Keep Spending When You Know You Shouldn’t | BPD & Impulsive Spending

  Sep 12, 202631 min

  Why can spending money feel like emotional relief when you have BPD? You feel empty, lonely, rejected, angry or overwhelmed. Then you see something you want. And that little voice says, "Buy it!" In this episode, I explore the complicated relationship between BPD, impulsive spending, emotional regulation and shame . I look at why spending can become a way of escaping emotional pain, filling chronic emptiness, extending a good mood or even trying to buy a different version of yourself. This episode is about understanding why the spending happens and what we can actually do about it. Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation : steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org Free financial support resources: UK: StepChange Debt Charity - https://www.stepchange.org | National Debtline - nationaldebtline.org Ireland: MABS (Money Advice and Budgeting Service) - mabs.ie Australia: National Debt Helpline - ndh.org.au | 1800 007 007 US: National Foundation for Credit Counseling - nfcc.org | CFPB- consumerfinance.gov Referenced Research Includes: American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787 Carpenter, R. W., & Trull, T. J. (2013). Components of emotion dysregulation in borderline personality disorder: A review. Current psychiatry reports , 15 (1), 335. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-012-0335-2 Glenn, C. R., & Klonsky, E. D. (2009). Emotion dysregulation as a core feature of borderline personality disorder. Journal of personality disorders , 23 (1), 20-28. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.2009.23.1.20 Kujovic, M., Bahr, C., Riesbeck, M., Benz, D., Deiß, M., Margittai, Z., ... & Meisenzahl, E. (2025). Effects on impulsivity and delay discounting of intermittent theta burst stimulation add-on to dialectical behavioral therapy in borderline personality disorder: a randomized, sham-controlled pilot trial. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation , 12 (1), 2. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-025-00278-3 Lieberman, M., Eisenberger, N. I., & Crockett, M. J. (2007). Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. PsycholSci18 (5): 421–428 . https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x Ott, C. A., Voce, A., Grinband, J., Lopez-Castro, T., Fertuck, E. A., Stanley, D. A., & Lempert, K. M. (2025). The borderline personality disorder feature of identity instability predicts temporal discounting in a community sample: An exploratory study. Personality Science , 6 , 27000710251374485. https://doi.org/10.1177/27000710251374485 Sansone, R. A., & Wiederman, M. W. (2012). Spending too much: Relationships with borderline personality symptomatology. International journal of psychiatry in clinical practice , 16 (4), 316-318. https://doi.org/10.3109/13651501.2012.693186 Starcevic, V., & Khazaal, Y. (2017). Relationships between behavioural addictions and psychiatric disorders: What is known and what is yet to be learned?. Frontiers in psychiatry , 8 , 53. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00053 Zac, A., Huang, Y. C., Von Moltke, A., Decker, C., & Ezrachi, A. (2025). Dark patterns and consumer vulnerability. Behavioural Public Policy , 1-50. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1017/bpp.2024.49

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  BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

  What Happens When You Diagnose A 14-Year-Old With BPD? | Teenage BPD Expert Professor Joost Hutsebaut

  Aug 21, 20261h 14m

  What if the label everyone's afraid to give a teenager is the one thing that could save their future? Professor Joost Hutsebaut has spent a career working with young people on the edge of a diagnosis most clinicians won't touch: borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this episode, Joost explains why he wrote a paper called The Diagnosis That Should Speak Its Name , arguing it's ethically right to diagnose personality disorders in teens. We dig into where a "difficult personality" ends and a disorder begins, the real risks of stigma versus the risks of staying silent, and how his own philosophy - "make therapy simple again" - reshaped the way he practices. He also honestly answers some of the internet's most asked questions. Whether you're a clinician, a parent, or someone who's ever been told to "wait and see," this conversation reframes early diagnosis as an act of hope, not a life sentence. Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation : steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org Referenced Research Includes: Bomhof, C., Löffler, J. P., Brugman, S., Lodder, P., van den End, A., van Dijk, M. K., ... & Hutsebaut, J. (2025). The effectiveness of generalist (GIT-PD) versus specialist treatment (MBT/ST) for severe personality disorders (Personality Disorders Access to Effective Treatment, P-DAET): study protocol of a pragmatic randomised controlled non-inferiority multicentre trial. BMC psychiatry , 25 (1), 1107. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-025-07550-4 Clarke, S. L., Soons, N., Videler, A. C., van Alphen, S. P., Van, H., Dil, L., ... & Hutsebaut, J. (2025). The progress in the field of clinical staging for mental disorders within the last decade: an updated systematic review. Frontiers in psychiatry , 15 , 1473051. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1473051 Hutsebaut, J. (2020). Make therapy simple again. Tijdschrift voor Psychotherapie , 46 (2), 96-106. Hutsebaut, J., Clarke, S. L., & Chanen, A. M. (2023). The diagnosis that should speak its name: why it is ethically right to diagnose and treat personality disorder during adolescence. Frontiers in Psychiatry , 14 , 1130417. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1130417 Hutsebaut, J., Willemsen, E., Bachrach, N., & Van, R. (2020). Improving access to and effectiveness of mental health care for personality disorders: the guideline-informed treatment for personality disorders (GIT-PD) initiative in the Netherlands. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation , 7 (1), 16. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-020-00133-7 Remeeus, M. G., Clarke, S. L., Feenstra, D. J., Van Eeren, H., Smits, M. L., Debruyne, S., ... & Hutsebaut, J. (2024). The (cost-) effectiveness of early intervention (MBT-early) versus standard protocolized treatment (CBT) for emerging borderline personality disorder in adolescents (the EARLY study): a study protocol for a randomized controlled trial. Trials , 25 (1), 261. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13063-024-08095-9 Renneberg, B., Hutsebaut, J., Berens, A., De Panfilis, C., Bertsch, K., Kaera, A., ... & 30 experts with lived experience–clients, relatives, significant others-from 10 European countries. (2024). Towards an informed research agenda for the field of personality disorders by experts with lived and living experience and researchers. Borderline personality disorder and emotion dysregulation , 11 (1), 14. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-024-00257-0

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  BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

  Should You Tell People You Have BPD? The Honest Answer.

  Aug 7, 202631 min

  Whether you've just been diagnosed with BPD or have been living with the diagnosis for years, deciding whether to disclose it can feel overwhelming. Should you tell your partner? Your family? Friends? Your employer? Or is it safer to keep it private? In this episode, I explore one of the most common and emotionally difficult questions people with BPD ask. Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation : steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org Referenced Research Includes: Brohan, E., Henderson, C., Wheat, K., Malcolm, E., Clement, S., Barley, E. A., ... & Thornicroft, G. (2012). Systematic review of beliefs, behaviours and influencing factors associated with disclosure of a mental health problem in the workplace. BMC psychiatry , 12 (1), https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244X-12-11 De Picker, L. (2021). To diagnose or not to diagnose your BPD patient. European Psychiatry , 64 (S1), S55-S55. Ma, R., & Else-Quest, N. M. (2025). Destigmatizing borderline personality disorder with social justice and intersectional cultural humility: How researchers can construct and deconstruct stigma. Feminism & Psychology , 35 (1), 3-21. https://doi.org/10.1177/09593535241278213 Masland, S. R., Victor, S. E., Peters, J. R., Fitzpatrick, S., Dixon-Gordon, K. L., Bettis, A. H., ... & Rizvi, S. L. (2023). Destigmatizing borderline personality disorder: A call to action for psychological science. Perspectives on Psychological Science , 18 (2), 445-460. https://doi.org/10.1177/17456916221100464 Nault, E. (2025). The Moderating Effects of Disclosure on Bpd Personality Pathology Severity and Workplace Interpersonal Mistreatment (Doctoral dissertation). Navarre, K. M. (2025). “You sure she's not making this up?”: A qualitative investigation of stigma toward adults with borderline personality disorder in physical healthcare settings. Personality and Mental Health , 19 (1), e1646. https://doi.org/10.1002/pmh.1646 Stricker, J., Jakob, L., & Pietrowsky, R. (2024). Associations of continuum beliefs with personality disorder stigma: Correlational and experimental evidence. Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology , 59 (9), 1629-1637. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-023-02543-8 van Schie, C. C., Lewis, K., Barr, K. R., Jewell, M., Malcolmson, N., Townsend, M. L., & Grenyer, B. F. (2024). Borderline personality disorder and stigma: Lived experience perspectives on helpful and hurtful language. Personality and mental health , 18 (3), 216-226. https://doi.org/10.1002/pmh.1609 Villet, L., Madjlessi, A., Revah-Levy, A., Speranza, M., Younes, N., & Sibéoni, J. (2024). The lived experience of French parents concerning the diagnosis of their children with borderline personality disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation , 11 (1), 13. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-024-00258-z Volkov, I., Sheppard, D. M., Kirk-Brown, A., & Van Dijk, P. (2025). Workplace outcomes after mental health disclosure: the critical influence of supervisor reactions. Journal of Occupational Rehabilitation , 1-12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10926-025-10352-w Watts, J. (2024). The epistemic injustice of borderline personality disorder. BJPsych International , 21 (4), 78-82. doi:10.1192/bji.2024.16 business.com/articles/disclosing-mental-health-at-work pursuit.unimelb.edu.au — source for BPD stigma exceeding schizophrenia in healthcare settings.

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  BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

  Is It Ever Too Late To Heal From BPD? | Late Life BPD Expert Professor Arjan Videler

  Jul 24, 202657 min

  Helping young people with BPD is 'sexy.' Helping older adults? Not so much. That's the ageism we need to talk about. In this episode , I'm joined by Professor Arjan Videler - Professor of Psychotherapy in Older Adults at Tilburg University, senior researcher at PersonaCura in the Netherlands, and one of the world's leading voices on BPD across the lifespan. We cover: • The 19-year life expectancy gap for people with BPD • What BPD actually looks like at 70 • The advantage older adults have for recovery • The ageism in mental health • How schema therapy and STEPPS are being adapted for older adults • What 'positive schemas' are and why they matter And somewhere in the middle, there's a story about a glass of expensive wine in Central Park, a psychologist named Theodore Millen, and how the DSM ended up categorical instead of dimensional. This is a quiet, profound episode about a population that has been largely invisible in BPD research and public conversation. If you're 40 or 70, it doesn't really make a difference. It's never too late to heal. Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation : steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org Referenced Research Includes: Conjaerts, J. A., Videler, A. C., Schepman, R., Elfeddali, I., Rosowsky, E., & van Alphen, S. P. (2025). Clinical staging for personality disorders in older adults. Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry and Neurology , 38 (1), 32-43. https://doi.org/10.1177/08919887241254467 Ekiz, E., van Alphen, S. P., Ouwens, M. A., Van de Paar, J., & Videler, A. C. (2023). Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving for borderline personality disorder: A systematic review. Personality and Mental Health , 17 (1), 20-39. https://doi.org/10.1002/pmh.1558 Khasho, D. A., Van Alphen, S. P. J., Heijnen-Kohl, S. M. J., Ouwens, M. A., Arntz, A., & Videler, A. C. (2019). The effectiveness of individual schema therapy in older adults with borderline personality disorder: Protocol of a multiple-baseline study. Contemporary clinical trials communications , 14 , 100330. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conctc.2019.100330 van Donzel, L., Ouwens, M. A., van Alphen, S. P., Bouwmeester, S., Bachrach, N., & Videler, A. C. (2025). Integrating positive schemas in schema therapy for Cluster C personality disorders in older adults: A multiple baseline study. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy , 32 (4), e70121. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.70121 Videler, A. C., Hutsebaut, J., Schulkens, J. E., Sobczak, S., & Van Alphen, S. P. (2019). A life span perspective on borderline personality disorder. Current psychiatry reports , 21 (7), 51. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-019-1040-1 Videler, A. A., van Royen, R. R., & van Alphen, S. B. (2012). Schema therapy with older adults: call for evidence. International Psychogeriatrics , 24 (7), 1186-1187. Doi:10.1017/S1041610211002638 PersonaCura: https://ggzbreburg.nl/over-ggz-breburg/voorloper-in-de-ggz/topklinische-ggz/personacura Make Therapy Simple Again Article: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340081785_Make_therapy_simple_again

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  BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

  Stoicism for the BPD Brain | 10 Principles That Actually Work

  Jul 10, 202627 min

  What if the most effective framework for BPD recovery was written by a former slave and a Roman emperor over 2,000 years ago? This episode is about Stoicism. Not the pop culture version that means suppressing your feelings and pretending nothing hurts, but the real thing. A practical, rigorous system of thought that maps onto what people with BPD struggle with most. The impulsivity. The fear of abandonment. The catastrophic interpretations. The feeling of being a slave to your emotions . I go through ten Stoic principles, each one mapped directly to the BPD experience, grounded in neuroscience. Because this isn't just philosophy. CBT was directly influenced by Stoic thought. DBT was built on CBT. Which means there's a direct line from Epictetus in the first century AD to the skills your therapist may have walked you through last week. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out Empowered Heroes Meditations on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation : 📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Aziz, A. (2025). The Application of Stoic Philosophy to Modern Emotional Regulation. Denny, B. T., Lopez, R. B., Wu-Chung, E. L., Dicker, E. E., Goodson, P. N., Fan, J., ... & Koenigsberg, H. W. (2024). Training in cognitive reappraisal normalizes whole-brain indices of emotion regulation in borderline personality disorder. Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging , 9 (8), 819-826. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bpsc.2024.03.007 Zetsche, U., Bürkner, P. C., Bohländer, J., Renneberg, B., Roepke, S., & Schulze, L. (2024). Daily emotion regulation in major depression and borderline personality disorder. Clinical Psychological Science , 12 (1), 161-170. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702623116070 Stoic Primary Texts (all public domain) Epictetus. The Enchiridion. Marcus Aurelius. Meditations. Seneca. Letters from a Stoic. Further Reading Robertson, D. How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius. Robertson, D. Stoicism and the Art of Happiness. Holiday, R. The Obstacle is the Way. Waltman, S. The Stoicism Workbook.

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