Episode #129
129. The Strong Black Woman: What Does Carrying it ALL Cost You?
Episode 129: The Strong Black Woman: What Does Carrying It ALL Cost You? Being called a Strong Black Woman can feel like a compliment. You’re capable. Dependable. Resourceful. You figure things out. At work, at home, in your family and friendships, people know they can count on you. But what happens when strength stops being something you have and becomes something you believe you must constantly prove? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del examines what it can cost us when “I can handle it” quietly becomes “I have to handle everything.” This isn't about becoming less strong. It's about questioning whether we've defined strength in a way that requires us to carry too much—and recognizing that being capable of carrying something doesn't necessarily mean we should. In This Episode The Strong Black Woman identity — the pride, resilience and capability it represents, and what can happen when strength becomes an expectation Intellect vs. energy — why knowing how to handle something doesn't mean you currently have the capacity to handle it Competence vs. capacity — being capable isn't the same as having unlimited physical, mental or emotional resources Independence vs. interdependence — how “I can do it myself” can quietly become “I have to do everything myself” The invisible load — what we carry physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and through sheer responsibility Social media and comparison — why someone else's visible output tells you very little about the support and infrastructure behind it The relationship cost — how hyper-independence, control and difficulty receiving help can create resentment and disconnection Redefining strength — learning to ask, receive, delegate, rest and allow other people to show up A Reminder From This Episode Competence is not capacity. You can be completely capable of handling something and still be too physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually depleted to carry it well. And: Just because you CAN carry something doesn't mean you SHOULD. You have already proven you're strong. You don't have to keep exhausting yourself to maintain the evidence. Faith Reflection In Exodus 18, Moses tries to carry the responsibility of leading and resolving the people's problems largely by himself. His father-in-law, Jethro, sees what's happening and warns him that the work is too heavy for one person to handle alone. Moses was capable. He was called. He was leading. And still, the load was too heavy for one person. Sometimes God's provision isn't giving us more strength to carry everything ourselves. Sometimes the provision is other people. Bounce Back Challenge This week, identify one thing you're carrying that doesn't have to be carried by you alone. Maybe it's something practical you can delegate. Maybe it's an emotional burden you need to share with someone you trust. Maybe it's asking your partner, friend or family member for help instead of waiting for them to notice. Maybe it's paying for help if you have the resources. Maybe it's simply allowing something to remain undone. And before you automatically say, “It's easier if I just do it myself,” ask: Easier for whom—and at what cost? The goal isn't to prove you can carry everything. The goal is to build a life in which you don't have to. Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE On September 21st, we're taking the Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE! This virtual gathering will be an opportunity to connect, reflect, and have the kind of honest conversations that are difficult to have through a podcast microphone alone. More details—including registration information—are coming soon. Save the date: September 21st. Stay Connected with Coach Del Website: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith
