Episode #63
Episode 63: The Impact of Menopause on Marriage & Relationships with Josephine "JoJo" Aligwekwe
There's a growing conversation about a correlation between menopause and rising "grey divorce" rates in midlife and it's exactly where this episode starts. Gloria is joined by Multicultural Integrative Psychotherapist and Executive Coach JoJo Aligwekwe to unpack that headline properly: is menopause really breaking marriages, or is it the moment everything else already cracking finally comes to the surface? From there, the conversation moves into the friction menopause creates at home, how a woman's shifts get misread by her partner, and the conversation nobody wants to have out loud - painful sex, low libido, and how to raise it without shame on either side. This episode is for anyone navigating this season with a partner by their side, and for the partners themselves. Key takeaways Jojo explains why menopause may bring existing relationship tensions to the surface, rather than being the sole cause of a breakup. Partners may also be navigating midlife changes of their own. A partner’s first response matters. Changes in mood or intimacy are opportunities for curiosity and care—not rejection, blame, or “it’s your menopause.” Midlife pressures, including changing careers, aging parents, and children leaving home, can compound symptoms. Relationship history and cultural context shape how each couple experiences this stage. Gloria and Jojo discuss using “I” statements, avoiding criticism and sarcasm, and clearly sharing symptoms and needs. A partner can’t offer support if they don’t know what’s happening. Jojo shares calming tools: pause, breathe deeply, try a butterfly hug, or place a hand over your heart and remind yourself, “I am safe.” Practicing before you feel overwhelmed can help. Intimacy is more than intercourse. Jojo encourages couples to talk openly about discomfort, vaginal dryness, and libido, and explore ways of connecting that feel comfortable for both. When couples fall into a pursue-withdraw pattern, one person can help shift the dynamic by stepping back from blame and asking what might be happening for their partner. Jojo encourages women to give themselves grace through brain fog and changing roles, and offers her reframe for fear: “Face everything and recover.” Connect with Jojo Website Book: The Premarital Pep Talk Email Connect with Gloria: Website: https://gloriahalim.com Instagram: @gloriahalim Timestamps 01:28: Meet psychotherapist and executive coach Jojo Aliguekwe 03:19: Jojo’s move from IT and corporate work into therapy 06:04: Menopause, midlife, and “gray divorce” 09:09: How a partner may misread changing moods or closeness 12:24: Replacing blame with practical support 17:22: Why communication needs to fit the couple and their context 19:12: Using “I” statements instead of criticism 22:54: Breathing, pausing, and other ways to settle in the moment 27:39: Shame, painful sex, and intimacy during menopause 29:02: How culture can shape conversations about sex and intimacy 34:40: Sharing vulnerability and learning about perimenopause together 39:06: Shifting a pursue-withdraw pattern 42:54: Self-acceptance, aging, and changing identities 47:35: Jojo’s “face everything and recover” reframe for fear 52:02: First steps partners can try this week 54:51: Jojo’s book, The Premarital Pep Talk DISCLAIMER : This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please work with a qualified healthcare practitioner for your individual situation.
