Episode #28
S9E28 (EP 206): Are You Parenting Your Child or Your Childhood? Breaking generational cycles with Dr. Kalyani Gopal
Have you ever heard yourself say something to your child and suddenly thought, “Oh my gosh… I sound just like my mom or dad.” Maybe it’s the way you respond when you’re frustrated, discipline your child, handle conflict, or think about what a “good” parent should be. Sometimes, the patterns we bring into parenting started long before we ever had children. In this episode of the Be A Better Parent Podcast , Celia Kibler welcomes Dr. Kalyani Gopal , a clinical psychologist with more than 35 years of experience working with families. Together, they explore how our childhood experiences, family relationships, and deeply held beliefs can influence the way we parent—and how unhealthy patterns can sometimes be passed from one generation to the next. Because our children learn from more than what we tell them. They watch how we communicate, handle emotions, respond to conflict, and treat the people around us. And sometimes, without realizing it, we repeat the very patterns we once promised ourselves we would never repeat. In this episode, you’ll hear: How childhood experiences can shape the way we parent Why we sometimes repeat behaviors we swore we’d never use How unhealthy family patterns can continue across generations How triggers can cause us to fall back into familiar responses Why awareness is the first step toward changing unhealthy patterns How social media can influence our beliefs about parenting Why asking for help and learning new skills is a strength One of the most important reminders from this conversation is that you may have inherited certain patterns, but you don’t have to pass them on. Breaking a generational cycle isn't about blaming your parents or becoming a perfect parent. It’s about recognizing what you carry from your past and learning to respond differently when those old patterns are triggered. Dr. Gopal reminds parents that none of us come with a manual. We’re all learning, and asking for support is nothing to be ashamed of. If you’ve ever recognized pieces of your own childhood showing up in your parenting, wondered why certain situations trigger strong reactions, or want to create healthier patterns for your children, this episode offers insight, compassion, and hope. As you listen, ask yourself: Am I parenting the child in front of me, or am I sometimes parenting from the childhood I experienced? To learn more about Dr. Kalyani Gopal and her work, visit SafeCHR.org . Get Dr. Gopal’s book/workbook: Strong Roots, Safe Wings To stay connected with Celia Kibler, visit BeABetterParent.com and explore the Be A Better Parent app and other parenting resources. Visit TimeForSkool.com and take the Parenting Success Snapshot . This quick assessment will help you better understand your family’s unique strengths and challenges so you can begin identifying the parenting shifts that may create the greatest impact. You don’t have to be perfect to break a cycle. You just have to become aware of it—and be willing to choose something different.
