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What happens when a storm‑summoning necromancer and the immortal embodiment of Fate get forced into Shakespeare’s most romantic tragedy? Absolute anarchy. Why Am I Always Juliet? follows Blake — Death himself disguised as Queen Elizabeth’s weatherman — and Lucius Silver, a time‑lost Shakespearean actor who has played kings, gods, and legends… but never the one role he wants. Instead, he’s Juliet. Again. Across three acts of escalating chaos, Blake and Lucius battle wardrobe disasters, magical misfires, dagger incidents, balcony collapses, and Shakespeare’s relentless enthusiasm. Rumors swirl that Romeo and Juliet are witches. The cast panics. The Queen expects brilliance. And Shakespeare keeps fainting. Every rehearsal goes wrong. Every scene becomes a supernatural accident. Every attempt at romance ends in lightning, levitation, or attempted murder. And somehow… the audience loves it. A comedic fantasy of fate, friendship, and theatrical disaster, Why Am I Always Juliet? is a backstage romp through Elizabethan England where Death plays Romeo, Fate plays Juliet, and Shakespeare insists they’re “visionaries.” The songs are coming. The chaos is already here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Unknown Host hosts Rachel Lawson's The Magicians: Why Am I Always Juliet? podcast.
Lucius Silver hates being Juliet. Blake Mortimer hates being Romeo. Shakespeare thinks they’re brilliant. The Queen thinks she’s doing them a favour. Everyone else thinks they’re witches. Welcome to the most disastrous S
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Days later, Blake and Lucius return to the Globe, cloaks pulled tight against the cold, trudging through moonlit silence like two men walking back into a crime scene. They breathe in the familiar wooden beams, the chill,
Weeks later, Blake and Lucius sit in the green room looking thoroughly depressed — condemned by royal decree to remain in the Chamberlain’s Men. The Queen thinks she’s doing them a favour. They think it’s a sentence. Sha
Blake’s afterlife office is small, dark, and coffin‑quiet — the perfect place for a post‑mortem debrief. Lucius sits shivering in a rickety chair while Blake, in full Reaper form, looms behind a desk of glowing paperwork
Backstage after the most chaotic performance in Globe Theatre history, Blake and Lucius stand sheepishly, bracing for execution — or worse, Shakespeare’s disappointment. The cast is furious. Shakespeare looks ready to ex
The laughter from the corpse‑kiss still echoes through the Globe when Blake rises, trying desperately to salvage the tragedy. Lucius lies frozen on the bier, mortified beyond words. Shakespeare prays backstage. The Queen
The final kiss looms — unavoidable, inevitable, and utterly terrifying. Lucius lies on the bier looking less like a tragic heroine and more like a man experiencing existential panic. Blake approaches him like someone abo
The wedding scene glows under candlelight… and immediately catches fire. Blake’s nerves spark into lightning. Lucius trembles in a wedding dress he despises. Shakespeare raises his hands solemnly — and chaos answers. A s
The moment they feared most arrives — the kiss. Romeo steps forward, trembling with reverence. Juliet answers, voice shaking. The audience leans in. Shakespeare leans in. Even the Queen leans in. Blake’s hand twitches. L
The ball scene begins in perfect harmony — music, colour, elegance — until Juliet forgets he’s supposed to be a woman. Lucius instinctively takes the lead, guiding Blake with the confident precision of a trained male dan
Opening night begins flawlessly… until Romeo reaches for Juliet. Blake delivers his line with too much passion, and lightning snaps from his fingers, striking Lucius on the balcony. Juliet nearly tumbles. Romeo panics. T
Opening night looms, and the Globe trembles. Lucius paces in his Juliet dress like an angry ghost, threatening to quit for the hundredth time. Blake hides in a corner, rereading the script until the ink might wear off, t
The magic is gone. Shaken by the accidental kiss, Romeo and Juliet return to the stage as two men desperately trying not to feel anything. Blake recites his lines like a wooden plank, dies like a man eager to escape, and
Blake delivers his line with unexpected sincerity — rich, steady, heartbreakingly real. Then he kisses Juliet. A kiss so convincing that Lucius forgets himself for a single, impossible heartbeat. He forgets the dress, th
The scene Lucius feared most finally arrives — the kiss, the dagger, the death. But something shifts. Kneeling beside Blake, heart pounding, Lucius delivers the performance of a lifetime: a kiss born of professionalism,
Twilight settles over the theatre, and two immortals sit together in the dimness — not lovers, but two men trapped in a romance neither wants. The looming kiss hangs over them like a storm cloud, fraying nerves and shred
The Globe is on edge. Romeo and Juliet arrive shaken — Blake still reeling from last night’s forced kiss, Lucius still burning with humiliation and fury. Shakespeare walks in with a spectacular bruise, the cast muttering
The final scene demands a kiss. Lucius refuses. Blake refuses harder. Shakespeare tries to force them. Two immortals panic, argue, and stand their ground. Romeo and Juliet will die onstage — but they absolutely will not
Lucius twirls a dagger. Blake scolds him telepathically. Shakespeare calls him “Lucy” and “boy,” and Lucius nearly explodes. Blake sees murder in his eyes — again. And the war between Fate and Death simmers beneath the s
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